worship and devour small hairy mammals

Back in the old days, when I was active on the PHILOSOPHY and HOLYSMOKE groups on FidoNet, I was often asked, "Hey Rev. Ric, what's the real skinny on this Jesus guy?" And I did some reading and put together the following note that summarizes the origins of Xianity.

Since then, when discussing the same matters on UseNet and InterNet elists, I've had occasion to post this information. Now I'm making it available to the greater WWWeb community, with the addition of links to some resources. Use it in good health.

Update: The author of the original message has requested that their name be removed from this file. So be it - 3 April 2003


- Area: 449 ----------------------------------------------------
  Msg#: 3                              Date: 04 Nov 96  02:34:17
  From: Ric Carter
    To: Cxxxxx Uxxxx
  Subj: Christianity
----------------------------------------------------------------
CU> I am a Christian and would welcome talking to anyone about 
CU> Jesus. I really do mean anyone!  Let me know if you want
CU> to talk!
CU> Cxxxxx Uxxxx, Jesus freak 

Jeshua [Jesus] was a leader in the Jewish Revolt, a long-standing violent movement aimed at ridding Israel-Judah-Palestine of the dominant outsiders [Romans, Hellenes, Armenians, etc] and their puppets and collaborators, such as the Hasmodean [Herodian] dynasty and the Saduccee [Temple priest] faction. Jeshua was executed by the Romans in the way they dealt with rebel leaders - crucifixion, a method they learnt from the Gauls during their long wars.

While leading a band of Zealots [terrorists] and Iscariots [short-sword assassins], Jeshua was also involved in the Pharisee [worker-rabbi] movement, again aimed at reducing the power of the Temple Priests and moving Torah study and worship from Temple to synagogue and shul and home. This was the focus of the shift from Hebraic to Judaic culture, a shift hastened by the Romans' destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple, and by waves of dispersion [diaspora].

Jeshua also left a body of "wisdom sayings", based on earlier Mesopotamian and Greek and Jewish proverbs. [Other sayings were added to his core teachings by later followers]. Jeshua can thus be seen as a warrior-poet, rather like Mao TseTung or Jose Marti.

Saul/Paul was a torturer and death-squad leader who attempted to infiltrate the Jewish Revolt. The Nazorene group [led by James, Jeshua's brother], distrusted this tormentor-turned-convert; they sequestered him two years, then sent him on a mission to raise arms and funds from Hellenic Jewish communities to support their movement. Instead, he invented Xianity and proselytized Jews and gentiles alike, diverting support from the Revolt. Returning to Jerusalem, the Nazorenes and their followers nearly lynched Saul; he fled back to the Romans and apparently disappeared into something like "protective custody". The myths of Saul's execution in Rome are not supported by any documentation.

The Nazorenes, and those Xians organized by Saul, Barnabas and others, formed an uneasy alliance of communities, now called the "early church". Many heresies and factional fights split them into Graeco-Roman and Semitic/Eastern factions, as well as others [Arians, Nestorians, etc] now extinct. The Graeco-Roman factions wrote texts aimed at attracting Graeco-Romans by white-washing the violent fundamentalist terrorist origins of their movement.

When Xianity became the State Religion of the Roman Empire, the xian Imperial Wizards scrambled Jewish Scriptures to produce the OT [Old Testament], and selected/edited their spin-doctored accounts of Jeshua and various Epistles to produce the NT [New Testament] texts. [Around CE 1000, feeding millennialist frenzy, the Gospel of Barnabas was dropped from NT canon and replaced by Apocalypse/Revelation, that great fantasy that's so bedeviled Xianity ever since.]

Xianity is constantly schisming, and each sect spins-off new factions. Around CE 500 the Semitic/Asian [Syrian Succession] Church schismed from the European [Roman Succession] Church. Around CE 1000 Eastern [Orthodox] Churches split from the Roman [Catholic] Church. Around CE 1500 Protestants likewise schismed from Catholicism [and themselves fragmented into many sects]. This history seems to show that we can expect another major schism in the Roman Church around CE 2000 - Real Soon Now.

Thus goes the true history of Jeshua and Xianity. Yow.

 Rev.RN Carter, ULC

... The Death Star plans are *not* in the main QWK packets...



SAINT PAUL, THE SLIME

St. Paul led his death-squad in
Kicked the door down, grabbed the rebels
St. Paul put them to the knife
And he threw the first stone

St. Paul's boyfriend left him, couldn't
Stand the blood, the laughs, the leers
St. Paul took a weekend off
Crying in his beer

St. Paul's captain said, "Infiltrate
the Nazarenes, eat from their plate
Gain their trust, they'll be our tools!"
St. Paul grew a beard

The Nazarenes thought Saul was lying
When he said, "G-D spoke to me!"
The led him to a hermit's cell
And let him count the days

The Nazarenes sent bold Saul out
To recruit lawyers, guns and money
From the rich diaspora;
But he propagandized

St. Paul spun his tales for Rome
Invented Christianity
Smothered the Jewish Revolt, made slaves
from sea to shining sea

St. Paul took his mission home
Where the crowds would have his head
So he changed identities
And vanished down the road

St. Paul built a mighty church
A refuge for imperial might
A sop to pacify the poor
A cloak of endless night

St. Paul, St. Paul, St. Paul...

DRSB ! Bisbee ! Coati Works ! Elvis !!

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Ric Carter, ric@sonic.net, www.sonic.net/~ric, copyright © by OTRSS