Education Glossary
_{Buzzwords, Technical Terms, Nicknames & Slang}

Some of the definitions on this page do not agree with the definitions listed in Arthur Hu's Education Glossary.

Absent

Not showing up for class (see Tardy)

Academic Junk Food

Slang term for curricula or tests that do little to foster academic achievement

Accountability

Divine retribution that perpetually targets teachers (and, to a lesser extent, parents and students) while ignoring administrators and legislators

Algorithm

Mathematical concept discovered by Vice President Al Gore before he invented the Internet

Bureaucratic Incest

A general term for the favoritism, including nepotism, that is so rampant in government bureaucracies, especially public education

CEO(s)

1) In public education, Acronym for Chief Education Officer; 2) A faddish title for principals used in some school districts, notably corporate Seattle; 3) Principals who have been ordered to run around town trying to scrounge up money to replace funds the school board and central administration have misappropriated, embezzled, or lost

Charter Schools

1) Schools organized and operated with a greater degree of autonomy than public schools by groups of teachers and parents; 2) A substitute for reforming public education embraced by conservatives who have become bored with beating up on teachers

Committee

In education, a group of people organized by a school board, administrator, or teachers union for the purpose of researching an issue and told what decision they should come up with

Consensus

In education, a decision-making process in which members of a committee or group vote, then let the principal have the final say

Creationism

A bizarre attempt to distort or deny evolution to make it jibe with the biblical explanation of creation

Decode

To determine the meaning of a word, whether by sounding out letters (see Fonics), evaluating its context (see Hole Language), or being given the answer by a teacher or classmate

Decodable Text

Memo written by a principal that can be deciphered by teachers

Department of Education

Federal agency charged with throwing money away on the public education bureaucracy and disseminating propaganda and disinformation

Desegregation

Increasing diversity in schools by forcing students (especially minorites) to bus to schools outside their neighborhoods (see Segregation, Resegretation)

Detention

The act of incarcerating students who are guilty of misconduct, generally for short periods of time; not to be confused with retention, not allowing the same students to advance to the next grade

Drill

Short practice exercise; examples include 1-minute math drills and fire drills

Dumb Down

Slang for the act of retarding academic progress (or "make dumber"), generally through wimpy curricula, trendy teaching methods, and lowered expectations

Education Mafia

Nickname for the corrupt individuals who are so common in public education, especially those who seem to be related by blood, marriage, or politics

Education Reform

1) Slang for government education extravaganzas that include throwing billions of dollars at problems that could be fixed with common sense, dumping an endless series of fads and abuse on teachers while giving administrators God-like status, punishing schools attended by children born into poverty (as evidenced by low test scores), replacing curricula with endless tests, lying to the public about just about every facet of education, and encouraging corruption, particularly among school officials and teachers union officials; Though liberals are largely behind education reform, some see it as a plot to encourage charter schools and vouchers; 2) An archaic term for REALLY fixing the problems in public education, which may now be beyond fixing due mostly to government "education reform," an entrenched bureaucracy, goofy liberals who afraid that any change exposes public education to attack from the Conservative Menace, and an apathetic, brainwashed public

Education Governor

1) Common nickname for state governors who try to outdo each other in throwing tax dollars at education problems that could be solved with a little common sense or backbone; 2) A governor who got elected or reelected by stupid voters after making stupid and insipid statements or promises relating to education and/or throwing millions of dollars away on "Education Reform" (see Education Reform)

Education President

1) Common nickname for presidents who double the national debt as they throw good money after bad in hopes that clueless taxpayers will think they really care about education and vote for them; 2) A president who got elected or reelected by stupid voters after making stupid and insipid statements or promises relating to education and/or throwing billions of dollars away on "Education Reform" (see Education Reform)

Education Reporters

Newspaper personnel who try to write about education without talking to teachers or children or visiting schools

Educrat

A bureaucrat working in the education industry

Evaluation

In education, the formal appraisal of a school employee's performance, generally mandated by law but done only when evaluators feel like it

Fonics

1) Learning to read by first learning to sound out letters, then combinations of letters, if I remember korrectly; 2) A political backlash against hole language (see Hole Language)

Gag Order

Unconstitutional directive banning teachers from communicating with their colleagues and/or the media, generally designed to prevent the public from learning unflattering things about a district or helping a teacher who has been falsely accused find justice

Glass Palace

Cultish nickname for the Seattle School District's administrative headquarters, which has often been compared to Nevada's Area 54

Goals 2000

1) A federal program designed to destroy public education, thereby opening the door for charter schools and vouchers; A rare example of a government program that's super-efficient, charter schools were becoming popular even before 2000; 2) the larger conspiracy of which the federal Goals 2000 program is a part (see United Nations)

Grievance

Complaint filed by a teacher with a teachers union, which generally waits a minimum of six months before advising the teacher that they have no intention of acting on it

Group Study

A scheme to allow students to get their work done faster by allowing the smartest kid in the class to give the answers to less advanced colleagues

Half-time

Descriptive of school employee who works half-time and collects half a full-time salary except for administrators, who often collect full salaries while working half-time

Herstory

In politically correct circles, the feminine form of history (see History)

History

The study of the past, not to be confused with creationism, a weird amalgamation of history, paleontology and theology (see Creationism)

Hole Language

Encouraging students to decode words by context, rather than sounding out letters (see Fonics); often spelled "whole" language by hole anti-fonics phanatics (see Hole Language, Decode)

Hooky

Students who choose not to attend class without an acceptable excuse are said to "play hooky;" Teachers who skip class for non-emergencies are said to be taking "mental health days," while principals who skip school are generally out trying to scrounge up money to replace funds lost by the central administration, are out of town on an expensive junket, or simply decided not to come to work (see Mental Health Day)

Indoctrination

1) Teachers should free children of the "mental illness" of allegience to parents, government and god (Chester Pierce, Harvard Dept of Ed); 2) The exploitation of public schools by corporations as a vehicle for advertising and selling products to children and marketing public relations to their parents through wholesome educational packets and posters and wimpy "donations" that are really tax write-offs or bribes

K-12

Nickname for "kindergarten through 12th grade;" sometimes confused with K2, the second highest mountain on Earth

Lawyers

Legal professionals who control many school districts and who are frequently as maligned as teachers

Leadership Training

Secretive training given to public school administrators which is typically funded by corporations; No one really know what the training consists of or what its purpose is.

Market Shares

1) public school students; 2) children in general, as in "our potential market shares"

Mental Health Day

A day off from work taken under pretenses that an individual is sick when they're really just "sick" of the bureaucracy, administrative tyranny, media insults, bratty kids, etc.

Millennial Transformational Leader

An egomaniacal dolt; a singular, once-in-a-lifetime buffoon; a charismatic blackmail artist who specializes in exploiting children; a clueless idiot who would march into Hell with a bucket of gasoline in each hand; applied to just one person in the 20th century, the late Seattle Schools Superintendent John Stanford (see The consummate leader: John Stanford, The Seattle Times, October 18, 1999)

Multiculturalism

1) In Liberalese, teaching students about diverse cultures or using curricula or materials that make frequent reference to diverse cultures; 2) In Conservatese, devoting more attention to Martin Luther King and famous Indian chiefs than George Washington and Abraham Lincoln (whoever they were)

New Math

An archaic math program that scholars tell us was practiced by public schools in the distant past

OBE

1) Acronym for "Outcome Based Education;" 2) Among conservatives, a sign of the Devil, or Satan

Off Task

Not doing assigned schoolwork, as applied to students

On Task

Doing assigned schoolwork, as applied to students who aren't sleeping, looking out the window, or goofing off

Preschool

Of an age too young to attend school, unless enrolled in a preschool class

Principals Shortage

Semi-illusory situation suggesting a shortage of principals; like a classic "teachers shortage," the situation actually results when picky administrators only give principalships to friends, relatives, or individuals who will do their political bidding and further discourage applicants by running a school district like a three-ring circus

PTA

1) Acronym for Parent Teacher Association; 2) A group of parents and teachers who are publicly charged with shaping a school's policies, though the president is frequently a political operative charged with keeping the school in line and reporting traitors to the superintendent and school board

PTSA

Acronym for Parent Teacher Student Association; similar to PTA

Peer Tutoring

Assigning students to teach younger students, rather than study themselves

Phonics

Hole language spelling of fonics (see Fonics, Hole Language)

Private School

School run for profit that is generally smaller and higher quality than public schools; frequently religious oriented and typically attended by children of the people who control public schools, such as public officials, school officials, and CEOs

Public School

School funded by taxpayers but run by corporations; generally attended by children of parents who can't afford private schools

Reconstitution

The closing or demolition of a school or transfer or banishment of its staff in response to poor student performance; commonly done to schools with a high population of children living in poverty and/or schools that get little or no support from administration or teachers union. (As Arthur Hu says, "If kids don't study, fire their teachers.")

Resegregation

Allowing schools to resume the racially unbalanced profiles that were common before desegregation and which are typical of cities where ethnic groups tend to cluster together, often in response to institutionalized racism; Resegregation is often accomplished by ending busing (see Segregation, Desegregation)

School Board

1) Traditionally, a group of individuals elected to office and charged with making and enforcing school policies; 2) In modern usage, frequently applied to a group of elected inviduals who act as a front for Big Business or the local chamber of commerce; 3) Sometimes used as an allusion to idiocy or corruption: The seven drug addicts threw money away like the Seattle School Board.

School Prayer

Praying in school by students who apparently don't have time to pray at home

School Violence

1) General term for violent incidents that occur in or near schools; 2) Sometimes applied to atrocities committed against teachers by administrators and teachers union officials

School Year

1) The term that schools in a given district or state are in session, generally 9-10 months or 12 months; 2) The length of time teachers work, generally 12 months in districts or states with 9-10 month school years and 12 months in districts with 12-month school years

Secretary of Education

Individual who heads the federal Department of Education; Ironically, this individual really isn't a secretary so much as a high-paid version of a state Superintendent of Public Instruction (see Superintendent of Public Instruction)

Segregation

1) In general terms, separated or divided; in public education, applied to schools with a striking racial imbalance of students or, to a lesser degree, staff; 2) The stratifying of American society along financial lines, which, to a great extent, follows ethnic divisions, as evidenced by private schools that cater largely to the children of wealthy individuals who run the public schools that children from poorer families attend (see Desegregation, Resegregation)

Sexual Predator

In education, a school employee who makes sexual advances to teachers or students; long considered scandalous, it's now widely accepted, especially by liberals

Social Engineering

Brainwashing or political or religious indoctrination of students, as performed by millions of teachers in the United States who are secretly controlled by the United Nations, according to many conservatives

Social Promotion

1) The promotion of a student to a higher grade level even though the student isn't academically qualified to advance; 2) The promotion of an incompetent, tyrannical, or corrupt administrator who can't be fired (Interestingly, some people who were socially promoted as students become lousy but well-paid principals who then get even higher salaries after they are socially promoted out of harm's way. Thus, some liberals are now promoting social promotions as a fast track to success.)

Sound Out

To decode a word by attempting to vocalize the sounds its letters represent (see Decode, Fonics)

Staff Meetings

School meetings at which principals drone on and on about things teachers could care less about

State Standards

Tests that school officials and legislators can't pass

Substitute

An underpaid moving target frequently hit by spitwads and administrative intrigue

Superintendent

1) The highest ranking individual in a school district (except in districts where the superintendent is outranked by the school board), aside from CEOs, public officials, lawyers, and media, which really run many school districts; 2) Occasionally used to specify ex-military officers or business people who have been officially designated the heads of school districts, even though they know nothing about education and are outranked by the school board, CEOs, public officials, lawyers, and the media; 3) In general, an overpaid stooge

Superintendent of Public Instruction

Elected official charged with overseeing education in an entire state; duties include looking the other way while principals have sex with students and neglect to evaluate teachers (the latter is a violation of the law in many states), jumping up and down and screaming like a gameshow guest when a millionaire announces a donation to public education, and issuing an occasional statement that says "I'm not happy about this" when the legislature dumps on teachers even worse than they usually do

Tardy

Late for class (see Absent)

Teacher Recruitment

A series of expensive junkets to foreign cities, ostensibly designed to hire teachers willing to move across the continent

Teachers Dues

Funds taken out of teachers salaries and paid to teachers unions; like taxes, they're often thrown away or used to fuel corruption

Teachers Shortage

The apparent lack of teachers resulting from an exodus of teachers fleeing treacherous administrations and teachers unions, with few replacements taking their place; it can more properly be thought of as a revolving door policy

Teachers Union

1) A protection racket that doesn't offer much protection; 2) An important fund-raising organ of the Democratic Party; 3) An organization with great expertise in ordering catered lunches and vacationing in Hawaii, Disneyland, and New Orleans

Teaching to the Test

Instructing students in a manner narrowly focused to help them do well on tests, which are slowly replacing curricula; some experts predict the pendulum will eventually turn, and future teachers will be "teaching to the curriculum"

Textbooks

Error-filled books that are reprinted every few years and sold at inflated prices to friends of the publisher who work in public education

Underfunded

In education, a gross financial inequity in which tax dollars are funneled into the pockets of administrators, consultants, and lawyers, leaving schools "underfunded;" commonly used by liberals

United Nations

1) Conservatese: A sinister coalition of foreign nations committed to conquering the United States, beginning with national parks and public schools; UN officials are believed to be secretly training public school teachers to indoctrinate students with unpatriotic, anti-religious, and immoral/amoral values or to simply dumb them down (see Dumb Down, Social Engineering); 2) Liberalese: A ragtag collection of inept foreign leaders that wouldn't even continue to exist if not for massive grants and donations

Voucher

1) Certificate with a monetary value given to parents so that they can send their children to the school of their choice; 2) Any means of escaping public schools: The single mother saw the lottery as her children's voucher.

Waiver Day

A day when students don't attend schools so that certified teachers can attend boring, non-productive workshops or public relations presentations while non-certified staff sit around twiddling their thumbs at taxpayers' expense

Whole Language

(see Hole Language)

Please advise me of any important terms I've missed or contribute your own definitions! Also, see also Arthur Hu's Education Glossary.

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