Death is one of the most important events in the lives of most people. To have a good death, just as to have a good life, certain guidelines should be followed. You may wish to approach death as a philosophical exercise, or as a game to be played for certain payoffs, or as an aesthetic experience, or whatever. We'll explore some of the aspects of death in this paper. Remember, every day can be a good day to die.

CONTENTS:

Some Rules For Death

Facing Death - The Rules

How To Control Death & Life

A General Theory Of Death

Other Rules For Death

Return to GO! Index

SOME RULES FOR DEATH

•   If you time things right, you won't have any money left - you'll die broke, having spent it all just in time to
•   If you've timed it right, you've outlived all your enemies.
•   If you believe you have an immortal soul, then you should have prepared it to take its next step in the cosmic journey. If you don't believe you have such a soul, or you don't worry about it, then you should have enjoyed life as much as you could until now. With the former, you'll undoubtedly have some regrets, because it's very hard to prepare your soul properly. If the latter, you should have no regrets, and can go with a clear conscience (with a hearty "kiss my ass!")
•   If you've accumulated a lot of power and wealth, you can afford to have a vast monument built, and even have slaves and animals and goods buried with you. If you haven't accumulated such, then your disposal can be simple and clean.
•   If your death is due to some infectious disease, then hopefully you've spread it around to as many others as possible, so they too can join you in death. Why be lonely in death?
•   If your mind was controlled by electromagnetic beams, coded messages or alien implants, then death should be a welcome relief. Otherwise, you'll probably kinda wish you weren't dying. But since at this point humanity hasn't quite conquered death yet, ya just gotta go with the flow.
•   If you see life as being a vast game, then death is your final move - CHECKMATE - you win!

FACING DEATH - The Rules

•   If you face death at the hands of enemy agents, tell them NOTHING.
•   If you face death at the hands of enemy forces, only tell them your name, rank and serial number.
•   If you face death at the hands of your alien abductors, try to resist that probe until the very end.
•   If you face death at the hands of corporate conspirators, relax! They really only want your money, not your life.
•   If you face death at the hands, or hooves, or whatever, of range cattle hoping to be mutilated, that have wandered out in the middle of the Extraterrestrial Highway while you speed along on your escape from Area51, slow down - they have the right-of-way.
•   If you face death at the hands of a crazed drunk driver rushing headlong towards you in the fast lane, relax again - he has your number, you're doomed!
•   If you face death at the hands of subliminal persuaders, RESIST! Put down that McFood! You don't HAVE to fatten yourself, preparing yourself for harvest by the aliens!
•   And if you face death from any other source, well, you probably deserve it. Too bad.

HOW TO CONTROL DEATH AND LIFE
for yourself and others

•   Since 'playing god' implies control over the life and death for yourself and others, then you can play god at almost any time. You do so whenever you drive a vehicle -- you grant life by not smashing into pedestrians, bicyclists, fuel tankers, etc -- you grant death by so smashing. You do so by shooting or not shooting yourself and/or others. You do so by almost any action or inaction you may take, alone or in a crowd. You HAVE the power.
•   In the short term, you can control the timing of your death and/or life by the quality and quantity of substances you put into your body. You may have similar control over others, if you introduce substances into their bodies also.
•   In the longer term, you can control lifespan by randomized selective breeding of humans. As suggested by Larry Niven for his character Teela Brown, if an overcrowded Earth society imposes fertility restrictions with reproduction determined by lottery, then the existence of any future human will be a matter of chance -- and humans will tend to evolve by being selected for LUCK. Only lucky humans will be born, and very little bad will happen to them, and they'll tend towards immortality.
•   Further control over death and life will ensue as nanotechnology develops. When we have nanobots running thru our bodies, repairing physical damage and balancing chemical levels, we'll approach immortality. And the agency that controls the nanobots will thus control who lives and who dies.
•   On a larger scale, you can control the death and life of vast populations by gaining control of asteroids. Any cosmic body properly nudged into a planet can cause massive devastation.
•   Similarly, by dumping large quantities of organic material (such as garbage) onto an uninhabitable planet, you can 'terraform' it so that human populations may live there. You may then employ the previous method to control the existence of immigrants.
•   You may find that working on a merely planetary scale doesn't provide a large enough canvas for you to develop your art. You should practice creating planetary systems, clusters, galaxies, superclusters, and entire universes, to suit your desires and drives. There's always room for a new universe, and you may then control death and life on a meta-wholesale level. Enjoy.

A GENERAL THEORY OF DEATH
with implications for life

•   You never feel more alive than when you feel the nearness of death - the shape and texture and smell of death greatly enhances your appreciation of life.
•   Consider the circumstances that make you feel dead. Go ahead, think about them.
•   You never really die, as long as you are remembered by others. Similarly, you never really live unless others are aware of you. Life is perception, death is its absence.
•   Since reality is whatever bites your ass, i.e. whatever affects you is real, then your life and/or death are only real if others are affected, just as the life and/or death of others are only real insofar as they affect you. Thus there is a correlation between the quality of your life and the quality of your death. The bigger your life, the bigger your death, and so on. It's your choice.
•   Any day can be a good day to die, if you make it so.
•   Death is an illusion. Life has been continuous on Earth for some billions of years, constantly devouring its own by-products. You live because of the deaths of all those plants and animals you consume. Plants and animals live by devouring you. Death is just a way to re-shuffle your constituent components for the benefit of other organisms. Burial in an impervious coffin removes you from the cycle of existence, and renders your life useless. Cremation is nearly as bad. To make the most of your life and death, be certain that your corpse will be devoured.
•   Death is too important to be wasted. Make your death count.
•   Since entertainment is whatever people do to organize and occupy their time when they aren't doing anything productive, and death is usually not considered productive, it behooves you to make your death as entertaining as possible. Go out with a flourish.
•   A lust for death is necessarily linked to a lust for life. The more you want to live, the more you'll want to die. Surrender to the void.
•   You can significantly expand your life/death experience by dying multiple times. Take steps to ensure that you are clinically dead, then revived, over and over. Recurrent exposure to The Great White Light can greatly reduce your energy bills.

OTHER RULES FOR DEATH
(to be expanded later)

•   Death on the installment plan
•   Wholesale and retail death
•   Death at a discount rate
•   Death as if it matters
•   Death for morons

  You can probably work out some other games and rules involving death - your own, or that of others. Just leave the chickens alone. Otherwise, all's fair in love and death. Have fun.

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