Actually, I wouldn't try this (cooking aliens) myself -- I like'em raw, Reptil­ioid Tartare with grated horse­radish is SUPERB -- but a valued Skepti­Chat contrib­utor inspired me to do some searching, so here are some resources you may find useful the next time you have some alien (extra­terres­trial) plasm to prepare for devouring, or vice versa. And be sure to see BBQ'ing For TOTAL MORONS and everything else at the EatIt index. Bon appetit...

Wally:

I meant to tell you a few days ago: I ran across a site about 'delicious aliens' or 'delectable aliens' but now I can't find it.  Bother.  But while googling for same [and 'cooking aliens'] I've found all sortsa stuff.  Maybe you could link some of these to your site as 'resources' - and maybe other SkeptiChat readers could contribute their own favorites, eh? 

Go to RECIPES, RESOURCES, REVIEWS

ALIEN-EATING SURVIVAL TIPS

Like many other risky endeavours, catching and preparing and cooking and eating ET aliens should be approached carefully and methodically. I mean, you wouldn't fly off in your ultralight or chopper or MIG-25 or space shuttle unless you'd checked the oil and fuel levels first, right? Not unless you were planning a one-way trip, anyway.

So here's a checklist of precautions you should take before you try to chow-down on something. These rules are designed for alien cuisines but can just as well be applied to terrestrial animals, vegetables and minerals that you may want to include in your diet.

1. Make sure your intended repast is dead, disarmed, immobilized and uncommunicative. Inflict whatever trauma is necessary to achieve this, including but not limited to:

   knife incision, icepick penetration, blowtorch application, poisoning, electrocution, blows with blunt objects, irradiation, mechanized grinding and/or blending, phasor / deathray blasting, extended exposure to interstellar vacuum, etc.

2. Make sure your intended repast is contained by whatever means is necessary and available, including but not limited to:

   sealed container, force-field, monomolecular netting, space / time warp, mental shields, epoxy embedding, magnetic bottle, casting wards and/or runes, paralysis rays, etc.

3. Make sure your intended repast has been detoxified and purified, by any means, including but not limited to:

   chemical, radiological, electrical, mechanical, mental, moral, spiritual, temporal, extra-dimensional, experimental, etc.

4. Make sure your intended repast, when cooked, will not become toxic (physically or mentally or morally), aggressive, passive-aggressive, vastly inflated or shrunken (with the possibility of changing size or shape after being eaten), quiescent (with the possibility of revivifying after being eaten), or otherwise inimical to your well-being and survival.
   
   
5. Make sure your intended repast is not protected by legal, moral, religious, demonic, or extradimentional codes or rules which, if enforced, could be detrimental to your well-being and survival. Or at least make sure that nobody / nothing discovers that you have violated such codes. You hope.
   
   
6. Don't be a pig. Eat slowly, politely, decorously. Share your food with others. Don't play with your food. Hope that your food doesn't play with you. Clean up after yourself. A prayer before eating probably couldn't hurt, either.

Legal notice:   The preceeding checklist may not cover all possible circumstances. The author is not responsibile for any actions taken or not taken by others who read the checklist. Read at your own risk and don't file any lawsuits, if you know what's good for you. But if you knew what was good for you, you wouldn't be trying this stuff, would you?

RECIPES, RESOURCES, REVIEWS

• Wally's HOW TO COOK AN ALIEN page
• CHUPACABRA CRUNCH!! "Blue claws, green aliens, and saucer-shaped whole grain cereal - a nutritious breakfast is a heartbeat away! Served best with goats milk..."
• Science Fiction Cook Book - cooking THE BLOB and ALIENS, etc.
• The Alien Meat story and AlienMeat.Com homepage
• How To Skin An Alien - CAPTURE - CONTAINMENT - PITHING - IMPRINTATION - SKINNING - TANNING - PRIME CUTS - RECIPES - TAXIDERMI (sic)
• The Dead Cat Cafe Tactic & Recipes for Aliens
(ah Wally, I see you know about this place!)

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• The Yeti Gourmand -- recipes for the psoul! by cuthulu (sic)
• Korhonen Rbecipes - food from the Zeta Reticuli system
• Dah'Screwe Recipes - food from the Vinalari system
• Cooking With Zathras (our favourite alien chef) (find)
• Deep-Fried Sentient Beings - as seen on FUTURAMA
• The Official Science Fiction Cookbook
• aliens & pies (a deadly combination)
• "Ah, aliens are delicious when served with Wow-wow sauce."

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• Cooking aliens for fun and profit
• olive47: alien cook-off (flash)
• Klingon recipes and alien cocktails
• Vegetable Aliens - Make edible aliens with healthy foods!
• Making Aliens (may be eaten later, cooked or raw)
• Space Aliens Grill & Bar
• Recipes of the Damned
• Roswell food
• Christian Recipe

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• EAT IT! (songs)
• Cooking With High Voltage
• The Aliens Have Landed! UFO's = Unidentified Fat-food Objects
• If You Must Eat Meat, Here Are The Rules
• Is Dead Flesh Delicious?
• Trilobite Cookies
• How To Clean & Cook Squirrels   (good practice for little ETs)