Existence is a puzzle; existence is a plot; existence is a job; existence is a mindset; existence is a pain; existence is a theory; existence is a sensation; existence is a game. Since existence is one or more of the above, it most likely has some rules, or at least some parameters. Here are some of the rules that may apply:

Existence Or Whatever

•   You may or may not exist. The distinction may or may not be up to you.
•   If you don't exist, there may be a good reason. Meditate upon it.
•   Otherwise, your existence may be permanent, ephemeral, or otherwise.
•   Reality is whatever bites your ass; if it affects you, it's real.
•   Sometimes the only response to reality is, "Fuck it!"
  
  

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•   Your existence is encompassed by the physical structure of the observable universe, and is molded by your expectations and perceptions.
•   Metaphysics may be defined as an argument over whether the debaters exist, and if so, why? One may more profitably spend one's time screwing sheep or raising cockroaches.
  
  

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•   Your existence is not limited to then and now. Your existence follows a timeline. You are what you were, long ago and recently; you are what you are, not what you wish but what is; you are what you will be, however unknowable that may be.
•   Where you are now results from a complex web of then; what happens next is a complex web of probabilities based on now.
  
  

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•   Every point in space-time results from the sum-over-history of all preceding space-time events; like a genealogical chart, you are the product of all your ancestors.
•   The future is a similar tree of possibilities, with an almost infinite range of space-time events that may occur, limited by reality. So by choosing what you do now, you make the future.
  
  

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•   By not choosing your future, you cede control to others. Is this your desire?
•   Hoping for a past, a present, a future, does not make them real. Work at it.
•   Your existence is not much influenced by your education, your intelligence, your intentions, your hopes. Perseverance is what matters. Keep at it, and maybe it'll happen. Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable person.
  
  

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•   The laws of thermodynamics are sometimes interpreted as meaning: 1) you can't win; 2) you can't break even; 3) you can't even quit the game. But these only apply to local conditions. Think big, and you can do anything. Possibly.
  
  

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•   Existence can always be explored beyond its current limits.
•   If you don't try, it won't happen. If you don't look, you'll find nothing. These are guarantees, not threats.
•   Any explanation of existence that doesn't lead you to further exploration is a dead end, possibly entertaining, but quite useless.
•   Existence is meant to be used, else why bother with it?

Reality Or Whatever

•   Reality is the most fun game of all. Isn't it?
•   If you exist, then you are probably real. But what is reality? Reality is whatever doesn't go away if you don't believe in it. Reality is a crutch, or a clutch, or a hutch. Reality bites.
•   Reality is whatever bites your ass, whatever affects you personally, whether it's really real or not. Thus, one or more gods may or may not exist, may or may not be real. But if their believers are oppressing or torturing or eating you, then the BELIEF in such deities is quite real.
•   Reality may be quite overrated, but it's the only reality we've got, unless we invent some alternative realities, and go to reside in them.
  
  

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•   Johannes Kepler was "too sane to ignore reality, but too mad to value it." To many, immediate physical reality is less important than whatever spiritual reality they aspire to. Such people can be very dangerous, in various ways.
•   Ultimate Reality is the behind-the-scenes reality that we can never quite reach, so it's not really real, is it? That's the problem with ultimates and aboslutes: they're so hard to attain.
•   Be careful about becoming estranged from reality. If you can't deal with reality, reality will almost certainly deal with you.
•   Whoever said that reality must be plausible? Fact is more entertaining than fiction because it is bound by fewer rules.
•   If you can nail-down reality while it still squirms, you've done a good job.
•   Reality can be awful. Too bad.

  You may carefully study these rules and devise a suitable strategy for playing this game. Or you may just wing it. Or not. It's not as if I care. You exist, you don't exist, whatever. I'm busy with other stuff. Don't bother me. Except with feedback. Or drugs. Or sex. Or art. Or anything else that makes existence worthwhile.

Optimizing Your Existence
_{(rough notes, 1st draft)}

We only get one shot at existence, as far as we know; and so, it's important that you follow the proper precedures to make the absolute MOST out of your incarnation (and all that surrounds it) as you can.

The precepts of top-down sturctured analysis and programming show that any properly designed process consists of [1:] Initialization, [2:] Process, and [3:] Termination. You need to concentrate on all three aspects of the program for it to succeed; if that program is your existence, the same imperative exists. As is customary programming/analysys practice, we'll look at Initialization and Termination first and deal with the Process stage later.

So, the proper Initialization:

You want to make sure that you are of the best possible genetic material. You should have yourself genetically screened at conception to ensure that you have no defects; that you have the best combinations of attributes and, and strengths possible. Be sure to weed yourself out ruthlessly; no defects can be tolerated. To this end, you need the proper inputs, which are the right parents, um, preferably they should be genetically screened also.

The conception needs to take place in the proper environment, preferably one of luxury, comfort, decadence even. The proper thoughts must be thought by those involved; the proper prayers must be prayed; proper invocations, sacrifices, invocations of invisible friends, et cetera. It doesn't hurt to make sure that you are conceived at the right time astrologically also; and be sure to check with numerologists, feng shui practitioners, geomancers, necromancers, and other divinatory specialists to properly schedule and locate your conception.

After conception, you need to gestate in optimal conditions. The mother should not be bothered by anything resembling stress. You should be subjected to soothing, calming music, pleasant vibrations, good emotions, propitious hormones, adequate er superlative nutrition. And again, you need to be ruthless in screening; if you notice any defects or shortcomings in your development while gestating, you DO need to self-abort. It's only right.

And ensure that the birth process takes place in the proper environment. (We can work out the details of that later.)

Well, that takes care of initialization. Now let's look at Termination.

(I have a whole document already written on how to have a proper death -- refer to that.)

You want your death process to be as optimal as possible. After death, you want the proper preparation of the corpse, the proper disposal of it; that (the preparation and) disposal may vary with the, depending upon your religious / social / philosophical / logical propensities, if any. For instance, you may wish to be embalmed, cremated, fed to sharks, et cetera, et cetara.

And uh, the next thing is to make sure that your post-life existence, uh your residence in an afterlife, is of the highest quality. Again, depending upon your religious / social / philosophical / logical propensities, you may have some default or obligatory afterlife residence, variously know as, what is it? The Elysian Fields, Paradise, Purgatory, Limbo, Hades, uh... (Again, refer to my paper on NEW GEOGRAPHIES OF HELL (click here) and the associated papers for details on that.)

Ok, so, with the Initialization and Termination procedures designed, you can go on to the proper processes of Life -- refer to my papers on how to have a good life.

Um, all these taken together in combination, your existence in, as a sentient entity, will be as close to perfect as is possible. Make the most of your life, you only get one chance, probably. That is all.

PS: I need to work on a paper on having a good death. Go thru various methods of suicide, various things one can do to cause onesself to be murdered or executed, um, various ways to stage death ceremonies, et cetera.

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