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You don't really want to get me going on this stuff, do you? I mean, there's plenty of material on similar subjects over on Usenet -- erotic pictures of hamsters and duct-tape and other animals and people and things, or whatever. Just fire up your newsreader -- click on something down here:
and have at it. But do you really expect ME to traffic in it? I'm not so differently pleasured, and there's just not enough money in it, and who knows what kind of snooper software keeps track of the users? It'd probably be easier and safer to start a meth lab, or hack the FBI, or do some best-selling gangsta rap, or start a war. Go away. Get a life. G'zzz...
From MemePool Sex:
Hey you! Got a gerbil or other small rodent stuck up your ass and need it removed by animalfriendly means?
Please check the FAQ before having sex with a sow, boar, goose, hawk, miniature stallion, or a dolphin.
Look out, realdoll, it's realhamster. If you liked the animated knobs at realdoll, you'll get a thrill out of what happens with Squeaky and Squicky.
Inflatable sheep! Who could ask for anything more?
NOTE: I don't necessarily endorse any of the sites linked here. I don't necessarily condemn them either. I don't necessarily have any opinion of them. Or I may have very definite opinions but wish to keep them to myself, for reasons that you and/or I may not fully comprehend. Or my opinions may be determined by the mindcontrol rays being beamed at me, or by my alien implant, or by other forms of persuasion / hypnosis / programming. Or I may just be interested in seeing who 'bites' on this stuff. Go figure.
Hmmm, just what ARE my motives for creating this particular page? I mean, I've never had sex with animals (that I know of) (but I must admit that some of my hominid partners were rather marginal), I've never watched people having sex with animals, never been to any of those Tijuana "woman with donkey" or "woman with dog" shows (that I can remember) (but I must admit that some of my memories are rather hazy). So why am I doing this? Go figure.
Some forms of animal intercourse should not be attempted under any circumstances, usually with very large animals, or very small animals, or very toothy or spiny or sharp animals, But some people will stop at nothing. Don't say that nobody ever warned you...
This page cannot get laid.
If BESTIALITY Is A Game Then Here Are The Freaking Rules
"Now I lay me down to sheep..." —Anon.
"But oh, the barnyard world of sex!" —H.G.Barker
"I can tell the sex of a seagull thirty yards off." —Jean Giraudoux
START
- Catch one or more animals, or vice-versa.
- Use the animal(s) sexually, or vice-versa.
- Keep score. Whoever does most, wins. Or whatever.
- Deduct points for making a mess, frightening neighbors, etc.
- Deduct points for killing animals, or vice-versa. Except chickens.
- Deduct points for detection, apprehension, prosecution, conviction, incarceration, humiliation, castration, etc.
- Add points for successfully marketing articles, reports, videos, art etc. of your activities. Every dividend counts.
- Be sure to sing the theme song: Now I Lay Me Down To Sheep
- Consider whether you are destined for special eternal punishment — see NEW GEOGRAPHIES OF HELL for details. Then make a decision:
- If unconcerned by possible damnation, goto #1.
- If somewhat concerned, invoke spirits.
- If somewhat bored, expand your range.
- If totally freaked, welcome Death.
- You may now return to whatever you were doing before. Ciao.
FINISH
A Provocative Letter
It's not just that I have unusual correspondents, it's also that spammers are getting clever and more spam slips past the filters. Here's a relevant example:
----- Original Message -----
From: "Pansy Wilkes" [Joseph@hotmail.com]
To: "Rickloow" [rickloow@sonic.net]
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 12:58 PM
Subject: Secrets of ZOOfils revealed! New photos.
Humans ffuccking animals. Stallions penetrates
human pusssies. afflict
Looks like you've come to a real ZOO here! Yeap! We have goats, we have horses,
sheep, snakes, even dogs!
We have lots of animals here and we also have lots of girls who just love
to have some ssexx with these creatures? How do they do it?
How do they suck those ccockss?
How do they ffucck with snakes? Snakes don't have cockss!!!
Guys! Our girls can do it with every creature they want!
They are ready for it! They are tired from men!
They do realize that wild animals are ffuck1ng like no man would ever ffucck them.
Cause they are animals and they ffuckk just like everybody did thousands
and millions years ago!
Stunning images, videos, art series, lots of animals, yyoung horny girls
spreading their legs and ssuckingg cockkss!
This is a first ever site zoo where every girl can ffuckk the creature she wants!
http://zoo-action.com/r22/?four
Just take a look, it's realy intresting! ;-)
--
just some 492 news from world's janissary
Though it usually takes a while for unemployment to fall once the economy's started growing again -- since employers are hesitant to start hiring until they believe the recovery is for real.
We can note in this (if we feel analytical) some clever strategies: some real sentences and a conversational tone; misspelling of hotwords; possibly real addresses. All meant to outwit the spamblockers, eh? Now, the question is: do you dare to click that link?
PS: Snakes DO have cockss! Little eenie weenie ones.
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SEXUALITY:
Alien-Clone-Holy-Robot Sex
Bestiality
Fetish
Gal-A-Rama
Gender Confusion
Gerbils
Lawsonomy
Mental Masturbation
Mutual Masturbation
Nocturnal Emissions
Polysexuality
Queer Marriage
Sex-Magick
Simple Sexuality
Simult's Orgasms
Sin, etc
SolarPower SexToys;
and see SensibleErection
and the MemePool SEX archives
HEALTHCARE:
Bio-Ethics
Brain Surgery
Cloning
Death
Faith-Healing
Gene-Twiddling
General Semantics
Head-Shrinking
Homeopathy
Hydrotherapy
Instability
Iris-Diagnosis
MindControl
Naturopathy
Orgonomy
Phrenology
Psychiatry
Psychic Surgery
Physcultopathy
Religiosity
Sonotherapy
Spontaneous Human Combustion
Tinfoil Hats
Trephination
Voodoo Dolls
"Some men need a good woman. Some men need a good man, Some men need a good dog." —Robert Heinlein
"He liked to think of himself as a merciless vivisector, probing into the palpitating entrails of his own soul; he was Brown Dog to himself." —Aldous Huxley
"Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up all these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away." —J.D. Salinger
"If only men could love each other like dogs, the world would be a paradise." —James Douglas
"GOT A WHOLE LOTTA LOVE? Then ladies, we have the man for you! Anyone like 'em big?? Georges is an energetic, outgoing, sensual hippopotamus that likes skiing, crooning and reading spy novels. He's looking for a full-bodied woman from 18-28 with a strong sense of independence and a love for the fine arts. Must be willing to relocate to western Africa!" —b.p.
"Did you hear about Smedly, from the old regiment?"
"No, what about the chap?"
"Why, it seems he's run off to live with an Orang-utan!"
"My word! Er, was it a female Orang-utan?"
"Of course! Nothing queer about old Smedley!" —Anon.
"Your cat would think you 'NUTS' if she saw you at a foot ball game." —Harry Oliver
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