Those Darn Gods!   ^{(part 2 of 2)}

RESOURCES

THEMES

§  WHY DO WE HAVE DEITIES? HOW CAN I DETERMINE WHY DEITIES ARE HERE? ARE DEITIES REQUIRED?

  GODS obviously have their own reasons for existence. We may inquire of them and their followers, ask them why, but their answers are not guaranteed to be accurate, meaningful, comprehensible. Bother. Much of the literature of the divine indicates their propensity for what humans would consider to be deceit, misdirection, fabrication, the inducement of confusion & doubt. So, the search for rationales of divinity must proceed elsewhere. Areas of inquiry may include 1) observable reality, 2) human consciousness, and 3) realms of existence beyond our comprehension.

1.   Does observable reality require the existence of one or more deities? Gods were formerly useful for explaining natural phenomena, but as scientific inquiry has proceeded, the realm of what's explicable only by divine action has shrunk ever-smaller. Some may argue that, since deities are necessarily infinitely [incalculably] complex, then by Occam's Razor [a simpler explanation is more likely to be correct than is a more complex explanation], any natural explanation is more probable than any divine explanation; thus, deities are entirely superfluous.
   
   
2.   Does human consciousness require the existence of deities? Many have thought that only divine forces could create human thought, but studies of consciousness [see MAPPING THE NEXT MILLENNIUM, cited above] and of chaos and complexity [see TURBULENT MIRROR: An Illustrated Guide To Chaos Theory And The Science Of Wholeness, by John Briggs and F. David Peat] indicate that the structures of our brains are quite complex enough to account for our thoughts and sensations.

     But when humans lack the conceptual tools for systematic inquiry, deities are indeed useful as explanations. And they function wonderfully as metaphors, as icons representing aspects of both internal and external reality. Thus it may be that human social interaction requires deities as implements of communication. "By Zeus, that was a long piss!" Some experiences just can't be recounted adequately without invoking deities, eh?

    Consciousness may not require deities; but do deities require consciousness? It will be interesting to see further developments in the fields of Artificial Intelligence, of the augmentation of intelligence in humans and animals, and of general studies of human and animal consciousness, whether divine notions develop whenever consciousness exists within certain ranges. Do certain levels of intelligence and stupidity invoke mystical thinking? Will robots and dolphins write theologies? We shall see...
   
   
3.   Do inexplicable realms require the existence of deities? Well, parallel universes and higher dimensions are certainly convenient places to locate deities, demons, aliens, angels, things that go WHOMP in the night. Certain theories of modern physics and cosmology require such realms; until we explore those regions, we can't be sure just who or what may be living there. But if these realms aren't amenable to examination, well, we're just shit-out-of-luck.

  To investigate the requirements of deities, you'll need to skip (a) above, observable reality, since the remaining area available to explore and explain with divinity is now quite small. In (b) above, consciousness, you may obtain interesting results via 1) drugs, 2) meditation, 3) mind-control experiments, 4) computer / software development, 5) animal experimentation, and 6) other. In (c) above, the inexplicable, you'll probably get the best results via 1) channeling, 2) folklore, and 3) intense study of metaphysics. You may be aided by the work of the Stanford Metaphysics Research Lab in developing methodologies for dealing with abstractions. Make it so, baby-o.

§  WHAT ARE THE ATTRIBUTES, QUALITIES, DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS OF DEITIES? WHAT MAKES A DEITY DIVINE?

  ADHERENTS of deities claim a wide variety of qualities for these entities. The wide range of possibilities makes god-spotting a chancy business -- one human's god is another's druggo guitarist. Some of the characteristics of deities may or may not be as follows: (and note how I've rated the reliability of each attribute)

1. POWERS AND ABILITIES FAR BEYOND THOSE OF MORTAL (WO)MEN. These may be found in major and minor spirits, their minions, engineered or stressed humans, alien ETs, robots, and certain software engineers. RELIABILITY: low.
2. OMNISCIENT (all-knowing), OMNIPRESENT (all-being), OMNIPOTENT (all-powerful). These qualities are claimed for major deities but are difficult to verify. Their very existence makes inquiry difficult. RELIABILITY: high.
3. ABILITY TO CREATE AND/OR MANIPULATE OBSERVABLE REALITY. This implies cheating with the laws of physics, and we don't want to encourage cheaters, now, do we? Humans, robots, ants and Uri Geller also tweak reality. RELIABILITY: low.
4. ABILITY TO ASSUME THE FORMS OF VARIOUS HUMANS, ANIMALS, OTHER OBJECTS. Shapeshifting is attributed to a number of entities of good or evil or indeterminate nature. Some of these are major or minor divinities, some are amorphous spirits, some are just amphibians or insects or narcotics officers. RELIABILITY: low.
5. ABILITY TO PRODUCE MAJOR SUB-SURFACE, GROUND-LEVEL, ATMOSPHERIC AND COSMIC PHENOMENA. So far, humans have managed to generate thermonuclear blasts equivalent to 100-200 megatons of TNT. Any larger energy releases may be attributable to terrestrial and/or cosmic forces, to deities of one level or another, or to flawed observation. RELIABILITY: medium.
6. ABILITY TO IMPREGNATE VIRGIN FEMALES. Verification is extremely difficult. Natural efforts may be involved. RELIABILITY: low.
7. ABILITY TO IMPREGNATE VIRGIN MALES. You only wish...
8. ABILITY TO INTERFERE WITH LAWS OF PROBABILITY. Is every coincidence really just a coincidence, or are paranormal entities at work? Human cupidity / stupidity also distorts likely outcomes. RELIABILITY: low.
9. ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE BY MEANS OTHER THAN THE NORMAL SENSES. Define 'normal'. Define 'communicate'. Define 'senses'. The voices in my head may be internal and/or external. If external, they may be induced by deities | demons | aliens | angels | agents | advertisers | brainworms. RELIABILITY: low.
10. ABILITY TO GRANT OR DENY HUMANS ENHANCED LIFESPAN, PLEASURE, WEALTH, POWER, OFFSPRING, SATISFACTION. Humans may soon achieve effective immortality, super-intelligence, body-morphing, and prosperity by technological means -- but we aren't there yet, so such gifts may indeed be divine. RELIABILITY: medium.
11. ABILITY TO CREATE A CHALLENGE THE DEITY IS UNABLE TO OVERCOME. Everyone loves a good paradox, especially deities. RELIABILITY: high.

  Readers are invited to tabulate known and suspected abilities, qualities and attributes of deities of any form, and submit them to me for inclusion in updates of this paper. WARNING: attempting to elucidate the powers of paranormal entities may be hazardous to your health, to life as we know it, and to the very fabric of reality. Tread gently, please.

§  WHAT ARE THE ATTITUDES, PROPENSITIES, LIKELY BEHAVIORS OF DEITIES? WHAT'S A DEITY GOING TO DO?

  TO PARAPHRASE the eminent pshrink Sigmund Freud: What is a deity? What does it want? Why does it do that? The thoughts and actions claimed for deities varies widely in different cultures and belief systems; see THE BIRTH OF THE GODS, cited above. It's difficult to know what to do around a deity, how to act and think yourself, what emotions and gifts [if any] one should present before a deity, when one isn't sure of that entity's desires and course. Here are some of the possibilities:

1.   INTERFERENCE IN HUMAN AFFAIRS. This is quite variable. Some deities maintain tight control over every aspect of existence. Some just don't give a shit, and either only involve themselves with matters unseen by and incomprehensible to humans, or just don't do or think anything at all. Some just fock around with each other. Some diddle with human and non-human existence according to certain patterns, or by whim, or by the dictates of higher powers, or at random. Some make it very clear that they're interfering, some are covert, and some are inconsistent. Some make specific requirements of humans, imposing harsh penalties for non-compliance. Some shower us with bounties. Some just observe us, and giggle.
   
   
2.   MAINTENANCE OF UNIVERSAL ORDER. Again, another aspect that varies greatly among entities. Some actively promote or restrain chaos in the universe. Some give hints on how mortal beings of any species may deal with chaos and complexity in observed reality. Some force (or attempt to force) mortal beings to work for or against chaos. Some stay in the background and quietly keep the universe running, no matter what we do. Some do nothing. Some battle each other, attempting to impose (dis)order onto all possible universes. Some sit in the center of creation and babble mindlessly. And other possibilities exist.
   
   
3.   SETTING A MORAL TONE. Another varying quality. Some deities provide detailed rules for human conduct, thought, existence. Some provide general guidelines. Some supply joke lists of impossible and/or contradictory goals. Some just leave us to our own devices.

  In general, we observe that humans can't really make any meaningful statements about divine entities; if we could, they wouldn't really be divine, now, would they? Therefore anything we say about deities is even less likely to be correct than is anything we say about anything else. This follows my extension of the ancient Jain Doctrine of Maybe, which holds that, since reality is constantly-changing and partly-obscured, anything we say about reality, rather than being TRUE or FALSE, evaluates to some combination of:

maybe (TRUE and/or FALSE and/or UNKNOWABLE and/or TRIVIAL and/or IRRELEVANT)

  This is in accord with all we've learnt in the last century about relativity, uncertainty, probability, computability, chaos / complexity, etc. We can approach certain subjects with certain levels of confidence, but not with complete certainty. It really IS all a crap shoot -- sometimes more crap, sometimes less. But it's a fun game to play.

  You can study the possible thoughts and actions of deities via the methods listed above for learning about their other aspects. Your confidence in the applicability of whatever you may learn is entirely a matter of your own character; but I wouldn't put it past you to try to convince the rest of us of the rightness of your findings. So many others are equally expostulatory. [sigh]

§  OTHER QUESTIONS:

  JUST LIKE recounting ballots, I must cut this inquiry off somewhere, and there are many questions that you and I may ask that I just don't feel like devoting resources to right now. Tough. If you have more questions and answers, please email me that they may be included in updates to this paper. Meanwhile, here are a few I've come up with:

• WHAT can I do if one or more deities moves in next door? Do zoning ordinances apply? How can I tell if they're the kind of god(s) I'd want for an in-law?
• DO all deities smell like that, or is it just you?
• IS all that noise, all that frenzy, all that blood-letting, really necessary for worship? Is silent prayer beneath your notice?
• HOW accurate are those pictures I see of various gods? Are the pix ever touched-up, airbrushed, manipulated? If I mess up a divine picture, am I in REAL trouble?
• IF sacred texts are the words of gods, why are they so contradictory, misinformed, incoherent? Why can't deities get their stories straight?
• HOW many angels can sit on a pinhead? Why would they want to?
• ARE humans gods to dogs? Are dogs gods to fleas? Are fleas gods to bacteria?
• CAN a deity create an endless loop that it can't escape from?
• WHAT are deities worth? Are any deities worth more than others? Who sets the value? Do market mechanisms apply to divine valuation? In a free marketplace of deities, do only the most worthy survive? Can obsolete deities be purchased at bargain rates? Is there a wholesale market in bulk deities? Is there a futures market in potential deities?
• DO most deities want their followers to act / dress funny? Why?
• HOW can I tell true gods from false gods? Are some | most | all gods true and/or false and/or indeterminate and/or irrelevant in various contexts? Would I know a true god if it bit me on the ass? Do true gods bite many asses? Do they get off on that?

See: The Gods' Total Quality Management Questionnaire