When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. —Woody Allen

•   Determine whether or not you actually have any inner spaces to explore. If you're not hollow, if there's no there there, your attempts at exploration are likely to be very frustrating. If necessary, hollow yourself out to make a space to explore.
  
  
  1. Tap yourself on the head, chest, abdomen, legs. If you don't hear an echoing sound, you are probably not hollow.
  2. Have yourself X-Rayed, CAT- and PET- scanned, NMR-imaged, and probed by psychics and psychotics. They're looking for cavities, remember.
  3. Use the Archimedes test: weigh yourself, then hop into a full bathtub and weigh the water you displace. If the weights are the same, you're not hollow.
     
     
•   Take a map. If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up some place else. GRAY'S ANATOMY, Kabbalah and Acupuncture charts, a Tarot deck, and Judy Chicago's art are excellent introductory cartographic aids. But remember, you'll be drawing more detailed maps as you go. So:
  
  
•   Take mapping supplies. A compass, straightedge, protractor, pencils, paper, RDF (radio direction finding) and/or GPS (global positioning system) receiver(s), colored highlighters, plumb line, surveyor's rods and stakes and theodolite, and similar gear are vital. Crayons (for marking soft tissues) and breadcrumbs (for leaving a trail) are also useful.
  
  
•   Decide whether to proceed into physical spaces, temporal spaces, mental / spiritual spaces, emotional / dramatic spaces, other real spaces, other virtual spaces, and/or undefined spaces. Take along adequate food, water, drugs and toilet paper for your journey.
  
  
•   Yes, a journey of a thousand parsecs begins with a single step. Step out carefully but firmly, in the proper mood, and wearing color-coordinated clothes. Gaze into gently-moving lights to tune your mental frequencies. Play soothing music -- listen to a Ravi Shankar raga unless you're allergic to curry, in which event you could try Santana. Time your departure astrologically. Spin a dreidl. Go now.
  
  
•   You may encounter strange and wondrous entities in your explorations. They may be beautiful, ugly, invisible, friendly, loving, dangerous, indifferent, fragile, strong, ephemeral, immortal, incomprehensible, whatever. They may be you. They may be me. They may be deities, demons, angels, aliens, robots, talking rocks, psychedelic eggplants. They may be truthful, or not, or otherwise. You must deal with them carefully and firmly:
  
  
  1. Be sure to get their names, addresses, other contact information, photos, autographs, and tissue samples if possible.
  2. Note where and when you encountered them, and your situation and attitudes at that time. Keep a detailed log.
  3. Don't get too close, but don't stay too far away either. Try to avoid exchanging body fluids. Avoid penetration.
  4. Don't make any sudden moves. If THEY make sudden moves, run.
     
     
•   Yes, I mentioned drugs earlier. You may require MANY drugs to successfully explore your inner spaces. Besides antibiotics, coagulants, antidiarrheals, painkillers and antiflatulents, you may need to alter your mood / consciousness / metabolism / coherence to lesser or greater degrees. You may wish to specialize, one drug per trip, or try a full-spectrum investigation of chemical realities. The more, the merrier, I always say.
  
  
•   Devise your return strategy. Don't tell anyone you've gone, so they won't be waiting up for you in case you're delayed; but be sure to have your return passage booked, a relaxing environment to return to, and no interruptions likely that may interfere with your contemplation and evaluation of your exploration.
  
  
•   Write a report of your journey. If you don't write it down, it never happened. Attach your log, photos, tissue samples, etc. See an agent about the book and film rights.

  Following all the proper rules, your inner exploration can be informative, enriching, stimulating and reproducible. Have a nice trip, and be sure to bring back plenty of souvenirs. Ciao, baby.

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