Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About KABBALAH (or KABALAH or CABALA or QABALAH or KABALA or However The Hell You Spell It) But Were Afraid To Ask

Kabalah (or whatever spelling you prefer) is a great mysterious system that unlocks the mysteries of the Universe. It involves letters, numbers, diagrams, rituals, all sortsa stuff. I can't tell you about it here — it's a secret. Sorry 'bout that. At least, it must be a secret because nobody's told me about it; and if I don't know about it then nobody does. I mean, that's how we think, right? Anything that we don't know isn't important. Q.E.D.

If PRIESTLY PAEDOPHILIA Is A Game Then Here Are The Rules

Q: What kind of sex does a priest have?
A: If he's straight -- nun!

Ah, those altar boys and chorus boys and troubled boys -- so tender, so succulent, so trusting, so vulnerable! Like fresh plums, ripe for the plucking! And you, their priest, are just the right guy for the task! And so what if some unfrocked folks look down on priestly pederasty? It's just good clean fun, and anyway, GOD makes you do it, right? Of course! To compensate for the great sacrifices you've made for GOD, you deserve a litle harmless sex-play. And like any game, practice and strategy and enthusiasm make for better game-play. Here are the rules of play for this game:

1. Select one or more boys according to your preferences. If one or more of your brother priests also fancies the boy(s), don't fight with them -- roll two dice, winner-take-all.
2. Persuade: With each boy, tell him that since you are GOD's representative on Earth, everything you do is holy and right. Tell him that if he doesn't want to do what you want, or if he tells anybody what you're doing, he's damned to Hell forever. Be authoritative but gentle. If he believes you, you score five points.
3. Foreplay is very important. Stroke the little rascal for at least 60 seconds before commencing further action. For each additional minute of stroking, you score one point.
4. Proceed to masturbation. Each time HE orgasms, you score one point. Each time YOU orgasm, you score two points. Each time you BOTH orgasm simultaneously, you score three points. Each time either of you fail to orgasm, you lose one point.
5. Proceed to oral sex -- scored as above.
6. Proceed to anal sex -- scored as above.
7. Reward: Tell him that he's done very good, and that he is blessed above all others. If he believes you, you score five points.
8. Recycle: Send him away, pick another boy, and goto #ii above.
9. At the end of the day, compare your score with the scores of your brother priests. Whomever scores highest wins an extra bottle of sacramental wine, and whomever scores lowest has to buy a round for the house.

To keep outsiders from breaking up the game, you shouldn't talk about it to parishioners or your confessor or reporters, unless you plan to convert to Islam soon. Have fun!

The WHATEVER Sutra

In the opening year of the West's 21st century, researchers sifting thru fragments of ancient Buddhist texts smuggled from the scriptorium caves of Bamyan, Afghanistan discovered this sutra. Although written with paint onto paper verified by scientific tests as being well over 1000 years old, the writing has a very modern spirit, expressing contemporary Western attitudes of uncertainty, irresolution and ennui. The author is unknown.

1. In the beginning was the word, or the void, or quantum energy fluctuations, or whatever.   If there WAS a beginning.
2. And the gods or god or predetermined random processes or fate or whatever, separated whatever there was into light and dark, or matter and energy, or the seeable and the unseeable, or the knowable and the unknowable, or reality and fantasy, or whatever.
3. And processes were started or evolved or happened or whatever, that may or may not continue into the present day, and that may or may not be contributory to our current dilemma, the joys and pains that we experience now.   If there IS a now.
4. And these or other processes may continue until something else happens.   Or whatever.

Study this doctrine carefully.   Or whatever.

If The BIBLE CODE Is A Game Then Here Are The Rules

"If it was easy, everybody would be doing it." —Anon.

Many important messages are embedded within biblical texts. This is because the deity or deities that inspired / dictated / channeled these texts is/are infinitely complex, and therefore left an infinitely complex set of messages / meanings there, right?

(NOTE: The singular-or-plural problem of Xianity's deity-set is beyond the scope of this document.)

Therefore, ingenious / inspired / mindcontrolled humans have devised techniques for extracting various of these stealth messages. Applying these techniques lies at the heart of THE BIBLE CODE GAME.

Here are your moves:

1. Pick a bible. Any bible. Unless your sect only allows one bible, of course, in which case you should use THAT bible. Unless you want to be radical, or experimental, or heretical, or whatever.
2. Pick a pattern. Any pattern. Unless your sect only allows certain patterns, of course, in which case you should use THOSE patterns. Unless you want to be radical, or experimental, or heretical, or whatever.
3. Or, pick a set of patterns, and use them as the inspiration strikes you. For instance, if your biblical text is laid out with words and letters in an array like a chessboard, you may use patterns corresponding to a rook's move, or a bishop's move (good choice, unless your sect doesn't have bishops), or a knight's move.
4. Pick a question. Any question. Unless your sect only allows certain questions, of course, in which case you should ask one of THOSE questions. Unless you want to be radical, or experimental, or heretical, or whatever.
5. Pick an appropriate starting place in the biblical text. This may be done at random, or by inspiration (the voices in your head tell you where), or according to doctrine, or whatever. Mark that starting point very carefully -- you don't want to lose it.
6. Apply the pattern(s) to words and/or letters to construct the answer to your question. Work carefully -- if you fock this up, you'll just be doing Satan's work and you'll be damned to eternal torment. See the Damnation Game rules for guidance.
7. The answer you construct is ALWAYS correct, even if you don't understand it. If you DO understand it, you score three points.
8. Goto #4 above. Repeat until you run out of questions.

Divine Truth reveals an infinite number of answers to an infinite number of questions. Playing the BIBLE CODE GAME may take up a great deal of your time. Enjoy!

----- Original Message -----
From: "William" <wwalter145124MI@comcast.net>
To: <InTheShadows@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, April 17, 2002 6:21 AM
Subject: Re: [InTheShadows] World government rising

> Kathleen -I don't trust.  If you look into other Bible code
> researchersw you will find much different results!  Much!  Lots! 

Some aspects of 'Bible code' research:

 - The original concept dealt with looking at messages spelt out
 by juxtapositions of ancient Hebrew characters in Torah, which
 texts are standardized.  But translations of Torah into other
 languages renders those juxtapositions impossible.  Thus, Bible
 Code techniques applied to translations are demonstrably as
 (un)useful as if the base texts were MOBY DICK or JUSTINE.

 - The original concept (as I mention above) dealt with Torah (or
 more generally, all Hebrew scriptures) texts.  But Saul/Paul, the
 torturer and deathsquad leader who invented Xianity, declared that
 Torah (ie, Old Testament) must be disregarded except for the Ten
 Commandments (of which Jewish, Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant
 groups all recognize and utilize different versions).  Thus Xians
 can't apply Bible Code techniques to OT texts (except a Decalogue)
 and must stick to NT texts in the original Aramaic and Koine Greek.

 - Bible Code researchers of many stripes have been successful at
 extracting messages relating to past events, but seem singularly
 unable to derive any information about the future.  As with End-
 Time prophesies, all specific predictions based on biblical texts
 have been WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.  Perhaps this is {JHWH}'s way of
 keeping us from knowing what we're about to get into.  Bother. If
 ANY prophetic system actually WORKED, those prophets would rule
 the world -- and we wouldn't have any conspiracies to discuss.

                                                           --Ric

^{In Brief:}   BIBLE WITCHCRAFT

Biblical texts and messages aren't always what they seem, especially when concepts that originated with distant and exotic cultures are translated for entirely different contexts. Some concepts just don't work elsewhere; "praying" was necessarily translated into a Mexican Indian language as, "wagging one's tail before the Lord." But sometimes translators just simplify the message, or introduce their own prejudices and agendas into the text. Consider:

The SACRAMENTS entry is now here.

The ATHEISM entry is now here.

CONTENTS:

<== back
KABBALAH Guide
HOLY PAEDOPHILIA
The WHATEVER Sutra
BIBLE CODE Game
BIBLE WITCHCRAFT
the GO! index
next ==>

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