Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. —WarMunkey
In Brief:
How To CARVE A NATION Out Of The Raw Primordial Wilderness
"America became top nation and history came to a full stop." —W.C. Sellar & R.J. Yeatman
Nation-carving is entertaining and rewarding. Maybe somebody is already in the place where you're whittling away, maybe not. Whatever. Just push on. Whether the nation is real or virtual, territorial or cybernetic, you can spend many happy hours sculpting-out a nation-state. Here are the rules for building two sorts of nations:
TERRITORIAL / REAL (use topographic map)
- Define 'Nation'.
- Define 'Wilderness'.
- Determine which portion of B you wish to allocate to A.
- Invade B, killing / deporting as many inhabitants as needed.
- Allocate power to the invaders as desired / needed.
CYBER / VIRTUAL (use system / network map)
- Define 'Nation'.
- Define 'Cyberspace'.
- Determine which portion of B you wish to allocate to A.
- Invade B, creating / enticing as many invaders as needed.
- Allocate power to the invaders as desired / needed.
Can you think of any other realms suitable for nation-carving, nation-building, etc? What rules would you follow in these realms? What are the best models to study for formulating such rules? Have you carved-out or built any nations lately? Where? When? To what effect?
The CHEMTRAILS Game For Total Morons
"Shelly and Keats were the last English poets who were at all up to date in their chemical knowledge." —J.B.S. Haldane
Aircraft fly overhead. You look up, point, grunt. "Unh! Unh!" Little tiny eensy weeny jetplanes 'way up there are leaving trails behind them in the atmosphere, like snail slime across the sky. "Unh! Unh!"
You have heard of these trails. They are called 'condensation trails' or 'contrails', supposedly caused when water vapor in the hot exhausts from the jet engines condenses in the upper atmosphere, forming clouds. Over time these linear clouds expand, dissipate, disappear. The skies over heavily-trafficked areas may be criss-crossed with such contrails. But are they all just innocent artifacts of modern travel?
You know that those jet engines are not clean. They don't just spew water vapor, they also spew pollution. And sometimes they spray the latrine contents on the fools below. But sometimes they spew more than that. And sometimes those trails are the result of deliberate discharge of chemicals or micro-organisms, sprayed in certain patterns, to have certain effects on everything below. These are 'chemical contrails' or 'chemtrails', evidence that the military / government / industrial complex is doing BAD things to you.
But you think to yourself, "Why should THEY have all the fun? Why can't I make chemtrails too?" Well, you can! Just play the ChemTrails Game! With the right chemicals and biological agents, and a suitable aircraft, you can:
- Poison or otherwise alter the environment
- Dose populations with psychoactive drugs
- Spread diseases or cures or genetic fixes
- Change the local or global weather / climate
- Communicate directly with your alien masters
- Create massive, ephemeral artworks on high
Sounds like fun? IT IS! And YOU can get in on it! Instead of laying around all day playing with yourself, or hanging out in bars, or working a dull 8-to-5 job, YOU can play with ChemTrails and become one of the Masters Of The World! And it's so simple!
HOW TO DO IT:
- Decide what you want to do, to whom, where, and when.
- Acquire the appropriate nuclear / biological / chemical materials.
- Acquire (by any means) an aircraft appropriate for your intended altitude.
- Get up there and SPEW! And spew some MORE! And MORE!!
- Land your aircraft, clean up your gear, stow everything neatly.
- Goto #1.
There, wasn't that easy? You may find it useful to join with others in spewing chemicals etc. A team, yes, that's it. If you feel patriotic, you may volunteer for a (para)military organization; otherwise, various corporate, insurgent, anarchist and other groups are easily located on the Web, as are lone nuts, inspired entrepreneurs, and dedicated idealists.
The HOMELAND SECURITY Game For Absolute Total Morons
"The art of leadership... consists in consolidating the attention of the people against a single adversary and taking care that nothing will split up that attention." —Adolf Hitler
Homeland Security: so vital, yet so elusive. But achieving Homeland Security is fun and easy, even for total morons like politicians and their lackeys. Just follow these steps:
- Define HOMELAND -- that is, the place you're interested in.
- Define SECURITY -- that is, levels of protection and control.
- Devise SECURITY PROCEDURES to provide protection and control.
(see below)
- Apply (3) to (1) completely enough to achieve (2)
- Kill and/or maim anyone who interferes.
- Occupy another Homeland.
- GOTO (1).
You may wonder just what SECURITY means, and what SECURITY PROCEDURES are. That's easy. SECURITY means to lock things up. You may have to go thru various screening-inspection precedures to figure out WHAT to lock up, but those are just part of the process. The more you lock up, the safer you are. Here's what you can lock up:
- Communications (phones, mail, talk, radio/TV, etc)
- Transportation (of people, goods, fuel, media, etc)
- Resources (food, water, fuel, air, housing, money, etc)
- People, animals, vehicles, anything else that moves, etc
There are those who think that too much information is available to terrorists, that information should be severely restricted. See the comments of Mr Rummy, Minister of War.
Following Mr Rummy's logic that all information potentially useful to terrorists must be withheld from them, US society needs a thorough cleansing of its info-structure. For instance:
- Road and topo maps can tell terrorists where targets are. Blank'em.
- Printed and online directories provide similar information. Zap'em.
- Street/highway signs and street addresses, ditto. Change them all.
- Signs on buildings & other public-access facilities, ditto. Erase.
- Public travel allows targets to be viewed & cased. Prohibit travel.
- Private communication can be used to transmit attack info. Silence.
- People not thoroughly vetted & indoctrinated, are risks. Eliminate.
Of course, to be thoroughly secure, America should be encased in a block of epoxy. Think of it as the Homeland Security Condom.
The Great And Wondrous Game Of Obtaining JUSTICE IN AMERICA
"Oh, Elizabeth, your justice would freeze beer!." —Arthur Miller
Back when I was actively moderating and innundating the InTheShadows egroup, we had many lively discussions of 'justice' (actually that's a baldfaced lie, but so what?) and although the concept is elusive, it would make a swell game. Here's my take on how 'justice' plays out. You could probably design a better game with better rules, but you can't play such a 'fair' game in America, not without first having a revolution or whatever. So play 'justice' as it is. Have fun.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/InTheShadows/message/45445
From: "0rpheus0"
Date: Sun Aug 25, 2002 9:44 am
Subject: Re: It's Tough to Explain Stupid, But Here Goes
> It's Tough to Explain Stupid, But Here Goes
> by Molly Ivins
<..>
> It is notoriously difficult to prove fraud and I, for
> one, am cynical enough to believe that there is a class
> of people in the country called "Too Rich to Go to Prison."
Overheard recently on the PRI "Marketplace" program:
"There are two types of justice in America -- justice
for the rich, and justice for the super-rich."
Obviously, nobody else in America can receive ANY justice.
Just as obviously, in order to receive beneficial justice,
one should be at least rich, at best super-rich. Richness
in America depends on not actually HAVING money, but just
on SEEMING to have money, such as possessing documents in
some vault that say they represent some value, like stock
certificates. Many of the Enron and WorldCom crooks were
so enriched -- they possessed documents of seemingly good
value, that were actually inherantly worthless. Yet these
guys were able to leverage those documents into tangible,
physical wealth: great houses, art, cars, planes, jewels,
etc. And these guys, except for a few fall-guys, aren't
likely to see the insides of prisons, except as visitors.
Therefore, to obtain beneficial justice, just take on the
trappings of actual wealth. Start an (offshore) business,
issue stock, flog (sell) the stock on exchanges worldwide,
buy real estate and artworks and vehicles, hire attorneys.
Escape the humdrum existence of mere petty citizens mired
in traffic courts, economy-class travel, tax audits, fast-
food nutrition, off-the-rack clothes, broadcast TV, etc...
Alternatively, you may start a small, legitimate weapons-
trading or -manufacturing firm, gain lucrative government
contracts, supply arms to insurgent and counter-insurgent
forces worldwide, then sell out to the Carlysle Group and
retire as one of the actual super-rich. Supplying solid
material for killing vast numbers of irrelevant people is
much safer and more profitable than merely swindling some
American suckers; and having a security relationship with
current and former US officials, lets you buy even better
justice than you could as a super-rich finanical scammer.
"The little affair of operational command is something that anybody can do." —Adolf Hitler
Any moron can enjoy a military misadventure — if they run a military machine, that is. And by 'military machine' I don't just mean a jeep or machinegun or sewer-rooter, nope! What I'm talking about is, commanding some armed forces like you almost knew what you was doing. Colonel. Or General. Or President. Or whatever you call yourself.
The basic principles of Military Midadventurism are pretty simple. They have to be, in order to be so successfully applied by so many morons. I mean, if it was Rocket Science, only Rocket Scientists would be able to fock-up so badly, right? Sure. And morons have been focking-up their Military Misadventures since LONG before there was rockets, let along Rocket Science. It only goes to figure.
Ok, you ask, so how can I have some fun with a Military Misadventure? Well dewd or dewdette, I'm glad you asked. Here's how you can go about it. Take notes.
- Tell yourself that you deserve some really good sh!t, i.e. (i.e. is a Latin contraction for "that is", in case you didn't do so good in your literature courses), that is, have some good healthy ambition. Delusions of adequacy, sh!t like that.
- Take control of some military and/or political system.
- Figure out that you can grab some land or resources or whatever.
- Apply your political-military power to grab that good stuff.
- Don't be bothered by the realities of the situation. Drive on!
- Keep going until disaster strikes and you've totally focked up.
Now, that's how to get by with some plain old ordinary Military Misadventurism. In order to qualify as GREAT, you have to really apply yourself, and make sure that you absolutely wreck your nation's economy, morale, territory, etc. (Etc. is a Latin contraction for "and so on," in case you had trouble in school.) You can do that by devoting so many resources to your Great Military Adventure that you and your country just can't recover.
Just to be safe, you should be sure to stash a lot of money in foreign bank accounts and arrange for a comfortable exile after your country collapses. And be sure to get out before they lynch you. Have fun.
Now check out what Barbara Tuchman said about this.
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