Compiled from various sources
NOTE: None of the following are purported to be actual depictions of anything one Elvis Aaron Presley might actually have said or done or sung or thought or otherwise performed or behaved, depending on what 'actually' means. All of the following are satires, parodies, take-offs, and otherwise fictional renditions of real Elvis songs, whatever 'real' means. The editor claims no ownership of nor responsibility for any of the following, so don't sue or defame or curse or attack or assassinate said editor, please. Fank yez, fank yez. —the editor
I'm So Cruel
[tune: "Don't Be Cruel" from: MAD Magazine ]
Well, you know she can be found
Hiding beneath the couch
She knows I'm on the prowl
That's why she's in that crouch
I'm so cruel
And Belly Lou's a fool
I don't want no other love
'Cause I'm the only one she's frightened of
Be a pal
Help me kill my gal
(original)
Newbie Lewt
[tune: "Don't Be Cruel" from: UltimaSongs ]
Well, ya know I can be found, a-blocking at The Keep
And if you come around ya know I'll make ya weep
Newbie Lewt, from a corpse that's blue
And if I make ya made by looting when you're dead
Well, tell me I look rad dressed in your brand new threads
Newbie Lewt, from a corpse that's blue
I don't need no other skillz
Cause I'll get rich just looting all your killz
(lyrics)
All Fluffed Up
[tune: "All Shook Up" from: AmIRight ]
Ah well a kiss my paw,
What'sa wrong with me?
I'm itchin' like a dawgie with a bag of fleas,
My homies say im walkin' with a wiggle and a shake,
I'm in Love,
I'm all fluffed up,
Mm Hmm Hmm, uh huh, yeah yeah!
(lyrics)
All Fucked Up
[tune: "All Shook Up" from: WhatFreaks ]
well bless a my hole what's a wrong with me?
I've taken special 'K' and ecstasy..
my friends say I'm actin as wild as a bug,
I'm on drugs.. I'm all fucked up..
a oh oo ooh yaay yaay
(lyrics)
Hot Girls Hotel
[tune: "Heartbreak Hotel" from: AmIRight ]
Well since I won all this money,
I found a good place to dwell.
It's down on the corner of Dallas Street,
it's Hot Girls Hotel
And you'll have a good time, brother
You'll have a good time
You'll have a good time 'till the day you die
(lyrics)
I Dislike You, I Hate You, I Loathe You
{and the damned horse you rode in on}
[tune: "I Want You, I Need You, I Love You"
from: Joker49 ]
Oh, get out of my sight -- I can't stand you tonight
And I never liked you from the start
I dislike you -- I hate you -- I loathe you
With all my heart
Everytime you are here -- All my joys disappear
You've become everything I abhor
I dislike you -- I hate you -- I loathe you
More and More
(lyrics)
(You're a) Drag Queen In Disguise
[tune: "Devil In Disguise" from: AmIRight ]
You look like a woman...
Walk like a woman...
Talk like a woman... but I got wise,
You're a drag queen in disguise, oh yes you are
A drag queen in disguise, oh yes you are
You fooled me with your padding,
You cheated and and you schemed,
heaven knows where you hid your @#%&,
you're not the way you seem
(lyrics)
I'd fix her my way
[tune: "I did it my way" from: AnalytiCalq ]
One day while we were out
My wife spoke up as most do of course.
She said, " Just read my lips, I want a divorce."
I pushed the pedal hard
The car sped up on down the highway
I thought, " She can't do this.
I'd fix her my way."
(lyrics)
Return My Gender
[tune: "Return To Sender" from: WhatFreaks ]
I knew a girl who had a sex change,
said she wants to be a man,
scratched her balls in the mornin,
she'd rather rub her eyes again
(she told her doctor)
return my gender, amputate this bone
return my gender. or I will moan
(lyrics)
Are You Drinking Tonight
[tune: "Are You Lonesome Tonight" from: AmIRight ]
Are you drinking tonight
Are you sober or tight
Are you totally fissed as a part
Does your memory lapse, do you stand then collapse
Do you say things that aren't all that smart
Does the beer in your stomach sit heavily there
Do gaze down the loo bowl and see vomit there
Is your head spinning round, holding tight to the ground
Tell me, mate, are you ratarsed tonight
(lyrics)
Divas In Vegas
[tune: "Viva Las Vegas" from: Backslash ]
Whole lotta flamers going to this Con
Gonna set the town on fire
We've never seen Arthur and Brady get so drunk
Bill's outside getting higher
There's a thousand normal geeks that's we're gonna freak
And a thousand sequinned showgirls let's take a peek
But out in my boa I am still unique
We're divas in Vegas
Divas in Vegas
(lyrics)
(no lyrics - see the context)
(and get Your Own Elvis Song)
War Now, Forever
[tune: "It's Now Or Never" from: AmIRight ]
War now, forever.
Bush wants to fight.
He's Big Oil's darling,
To their delight.
To follow, with no debate.
War now, forever...
Bush just won't wait.
(lyrics)
It Hurts Me
[tune: "It Hurts Me" from: ElvisNews ]
It hurts me
to see the budget climb up to the sky
it hurts me
when finkel gives me trouble
when I see all my money go
just for one god-damned ol' tv show
it hurts me
the way that finkel spends my dough
(lyrics)
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