Your Favorite Color is the Key to Your Sexual Life
 
 The cloths you wear, your home furnishings and the car you drive all give 
 clues to your sexual personality.  The key is the colors you select for 
 your possessions.
 
 Most people claim they haven't a favorite color.  But look  around you, 
 and you'll notice a pattern, especially in your clothing and home decor.  
 The predominant color for you is the one that appears most frequently  -- 
 it's the one that mirrors the sexual you.
 
 A panel of psychologists,  speaking at the 1975 Home Interior Design 
 Forum, explained the association  between color and sexual patterns.
 
 
 - - Red
 
 People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack.  They are  
 easilyaroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable.  Once the sexual 
 spark is  ignited, it may take hours to extinguish.  When two reds get 
 together, the  ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterly blush.  Lovers 
 of red tend to be  aggressors and weaker colors should be aware.
 
 - - Yellow
 
 If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are complex and turn 
 toward the adaptable.  The favorite color of homosexuals is yellow.  But 
 don't panic -- not everyone who wears yellow is queer.  In most cases the 
 person will consent to the stronger partner's desires in a passive 
 manner.  You  will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never 
 turn down an invitation from somebody you enjoy or admire.
 
 - - Pink
 
 Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters: 
 women tend to tease, to promise more than they intend to deliver.  In  
 some cases they flaunt their femininity -- but because they secretly 
 hate  men.  A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire wardrobes in 
 pink.  Men  who like pink are the philanderers and flirts.  They are the 
 type who will make three dates for the same evening and not keep one, 
 preferring to pick up a  dish in some bar instead.  Women whose husbands 
 like pink should keep a secret nest egg.
 
 - - Purple
 
 Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves to be too sophisticated 
 for a fun romp in the sack.  Women sometimes are the type who hate to 
 mess their hair. Men are business-like in their approach to lovemaking.  
 In both sexes purple partners are more concerned with their fulfillment 
 than  anyone else's gratification.
 
 - - Black
 
 Black color preferences point to black sex (not necessarily meaning black 
 partners).  These people are the misfits of the sex world and  seek out 
 each other in kinship.  They tend to prefer perverted sex and are  
 usually masochistic or sadistic in nature.  They are moody people and 
 often  perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy times.  
 Police  psychiatrists claim that sex offenders prefer the color black.  
 And it is no  coincidence that the uniform of mosters and teenage gangs 
 is black attire.
 
 - - Green
 
 Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their approach to sex.  
 Women who love green will always make love like virgins all  their life.  
 And a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward but in a  charming 
 and endearing sort of way.  Green lovers are gentle, but not  
 passionate.  If chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.
 
 - - Orange
 
 Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual fantasies.  The sex act is 
 regarded as a dramatic one-act play in which they are the star. Foreplay 
 is as important as the act of love.  They whisper sweet nothings, 
 meaningless dialogue;  they feel it is their image.  Orange people often 
 do not  experience orgasm -- but they put on a darn good act.  Men tend 
 to pull their  partner's hair, and women leave red welts on the sex 
 partner's back.
 
 - - Brown
 
 If you love brown, you're a real treasure for the right mate. Brown 
 lovers tend to be warm and deep, sensitive to the needs and desires of  
 their partners.  Sex is a 24 hour a day thing.  Where you can't say "I 
 love  you" often enough.  Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or 
 catching  snowflakes on their tongue is a turn-on to a lover of brown. 
 They need lots of  time and privacy to make love.  But their emotions are 
 such that one harsh word  could end the affair.
 
 - - Grey
 
 The color grey a preferred by people who are indecisive.  They can't get 
 excited about anything -- including color -- so they choose a 
 noncommittal shade.  Men who prefer grey look at sex as a way of 
 relieving  tension -- but nothing more, nothing less.  It's wham, bam, 
 thank you ma'am.  Women don't make love, they have intercourse.  And for 
 one of two reasons only:  to accommodate their mate, or to become 
 pregnant.  They count the cracks in the  bedroom plaster until the sex 
 act is over with and done.  But when teamed with another color, the grey 
 spouse considers the other's infidelity a blessing.  When a grey marries 
 another grey, the marriage is made in heaven.
 
 - - Blue
 
 Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners.  They are sinners, 
 affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs.  They consider love 
 making  a fine art and their approach is elegant.  Men who love blue are 
 like concert  pianists, delicately ravaging their partner like they would 
 play a baby grand.  Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. 
 They are exciting  partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal 
 wave rather than firery  aggression.  Both women and men enjoy foreplay 
 and the aftermath of lovemaking,  as much as the sex act itself.  In 
 marriage a blue person is a wonderful mate -- never seeking outside 
 interests.
 
 - - White
 
 If a person is infatuated with white, sex often seems filthy.  These 
 people are puritanical in nature.  French kissing is obscene and to make 
 love in the daylight in unheard of.  Women who love white will undress 
 beneath  the covers.  Men will shower before and after the sex act. These 
 people still  use pet names for their genitals.
 
 
 So what's YOUR favorite color?
 

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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