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Hit me again!

Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas?  The holiday 
 gift-giving stats are in!  Some of the more popular gifts for the
 computer adict this year include such items as:
 
 - CD-ROM rewinder.  (For blondes only.)
 
 - Virtual reality beer.
 
 - NoseBlaster smell card -- the latest in multi-media technology.  The
   deluxe version comes with direct-feed nostril tubes for the ultimate
   in virtual olfactory experience.
 
 - True-Type font modelled on my handwriting.  The last word in
   non-reversible encryption.  (May not be exported from the country.)
 
 - 72-inch monitor.
 
 - 20-foot mouse extension cord - a must for the 72-inch monitor.
 
 - Michael Jackson-to-Michael Jackson Morph screen saver -- endless
   variations.
 
 - Bedpan -- Why leave your computer just for that?  (Not for use with
   NoseBlaster.)
 
 - The secret to what this emoticon means - }:{o
 
 - The monitor with the built in Dorito and pop can holder.
 
 - Keyboard with a "zap" button which zaps other people on the 
 Internet.
 
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 The future is like the present, only longer...

Hit me again!
Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
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