Title: A New Atomic Element: Administratium
 
 The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists.
  The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons
 and thus has an atomic number of 0.  However, it does have
 
 1 Neutron
 125 Assistant Neutrons
 75 Vice Neutrons
 111 Assistant Vice Neutrons
 
 This gives it an atomic mass of 312.  Those 312 particles are held together
 by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
 called morons.
 
 Because it has no electrons, Administratium is inert, however it can be
 detected readily as it impedes every action and reaction with which it comes
 in contact.  According to its discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
 caused one process to take four days when completion would have occurred
 normally in under one second.
 
 Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which
 time it does not actually decay but rather undergoes a reorganization in
 which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange
 places. Recent studies have hypothesized that atomic mass actually increases
 after each reorganization.
 
 Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally
 in the atmosphere, but tends to accumulate at certain places such as
 government agencies, large corporations and universities.   It usually can be
 found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.
 
 Scientists point out that Administratium is toxic in any concentration and
 severely degrades productive activity wherever it accumulates.  Attempts are
 in progress to determine how Administratium can be eliminated or at least
 controlled, but unfortunately the results to date are not promising.
 
 From: Mike

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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