Here's your randomly selected funny email. Click here for a complete list.
Hit me again!

			  McDonnell Douglas
 		   AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
  
 			Important! Important!
  
 Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
  
 Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.  In
 order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
 fill out the warranty registration card below.  Answering the survey
 questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
 new products that best meet your needs and desires.
  
 1. _Mr.  _Mrs.  _Ms.  _Miss  _Lt.  _Gen.  _Comrade  _Classified _Other
  
 First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________
  
 Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________
  
 Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________
  
 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
  
   _F-14 Tomcat   _F-15 Eagle  _F-16 Falcon  _F-19A Stealth  _Classified
  
 3. Date of purchase:  Month___________Day___________Year____________
  
 4. Serial Number____________________
  
 5. Please check where this product was purchased:
  
 _Received as Gift/Aid Package
 _Catalog Showroom
 _Sleazy Arms Broker
 _Mail Order
 _Discount Store
 _Government Surplus
 _Classified
  
 6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
 have just purchased:
  
 _Heard loud noise, looked up
 _Store Display
 _Espionage
 _Recommended by friend/relative/ally
 _Political lobbying by Manufacturer
 _Was attacked by one
  
 7.  Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
 decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
  
 _Style/Appearance
 _Kickback/Bribe
 _Recommended by salesperson
 _Speed/Maneuverability
 _Comfort/Convenience
 _McDonnell Douglas Reputation
 _Advanced Weapons Systems
 _Price/Value
 _Back-Room Politics
 _Negative experience opposing one in combat
  
 8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
  
 _North America
 _Central/South America
 _Aircraft Carrier
 _Europe
 _Middle East
 _Africa
 _Asia/Far East
 _Misc. Third-World Countries
 _Classified
  
 9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
 in the near future:
  
 Product			Own	Intend to purchase
 Color TV
 VCR
 ICBM
 Killer Satellite
 CD Player
 Air-to-Air Missiles
 Space Shuttle
 Home Computer
 Nuclear Weapon
  
 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?  Check all
 that apply:
  
 _Communist/Socialist
 _Terrorist
 _Crazed (Islamic)
 _Crazed (Other)
 _Neutral
 _Democratic
 _Dictatorship
 _Corrupt (Latin American)
 _Corrupt (Other)
 _Primitive/Tribal
  
 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
  
 _Cash
 _Suitcases of Cocaine
 _Oil Revenues
 _Deficit Spending
 _Personal Check
 _Credit Card
 _Ransom Money
 _Traveler's Check
  
 12. Occupation		You	Your Spouse
  
 Homemaker
 Sales/Marketing
 Revolutionary
 Clerical
 Mercenary
 Tyrant
 Middle Management
 Eccentric Billionaire
 Defense Minister/General
 Retired
 Student
  
 13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
 the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
 participating on a regular basis:
  
 Activity/Interest		You	Your Spouse
 Golf
 Boating/Sailing
 Sabotage
 Running/Jogging
 Propaganda/Disinformation
 Destabilizing/Overthrow
 Default on Loans
 Gardening
 Crafts
 Black Market/Smuggling
 Collectibles/Collections
 Watching Sports on TV
 Wines
 Interrogation/Torture
 Household Pets
 Crushing Rebellions
 Espionage/Reconnaissance
 Fashion Clothing
 Border Disputes
 Mutually Assured Destruction
  
 Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.  Your
 answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
 Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
 receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
 extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
  
 Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?  Please write to:
  
 McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
 Marketing Department
 Military Aerospace Division
 P.O. Box 800
 St. Louis, MO 55500

Hit me again!
Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
Back to home page...