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Hit me again!

  Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
   Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell
   the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've
   been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible
   deaths.  So what's your story?"
   So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has
   been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her
   red-handed.  As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell
   something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where
   this other guy could have been hiding.  Finally, I went out to the
   balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing,
   25 floors above ground!  By now I was really mad, so I started beating
   on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off.
    So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting
   hammering on his fingers.  Of course, he couldn't stand that for long,
   so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the
   bushes, stunned but okay.  I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into
   the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it
   landed on him, killing him instantly.  But all the stress and anger got
   to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
   "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man
   The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being
   full, and again asks for his story.
   "It's been a very strange day.  You see, I live on the 26th floor of
   my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my
   balcony.  Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because
   I fell over the edge.  But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the
   balcony on the floor below me.  I knew I couldn't hang on for very
   long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony.  I thought
   for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me.  I
   held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a
   hammer and started pounding on my hands.  Finally I just let go, but
   again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all
   right.  Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this
   refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly,
   and now I'm here."
   Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty
   horrible death.
   The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole
   process was repeated.  Peter explained that heaven was full and asked
   for his story.
   "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a
 ... I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

Hit me again!
Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
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