This was Kurt Vonnegut's commencement address at MIT.
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 Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
 
 Wear sunscreen.
 
 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen
 would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been
 proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no
 basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will
 dispense this advice now.
 
 Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind.
 You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
 until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look
 back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp
 now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you
 really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
 
 Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying
 is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
 bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
 never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm
 on some idle Tuesday.
 
 Do one thing every day that scares you.
 
 Sing.
 
 Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with
 people who are reckless with yours.
 
 Floss..
 
 Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
 sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end,
 it's only with yourself.
 
 Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you
 succeed in doing this, tell me how.
 
 Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
 
 Stretch.
 
 Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with
 your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at
 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most
 interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
 
 Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them
 when they're gone.
 
 Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
 maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance
 the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you
 do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself
 either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
 
 Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of
 it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest
 instrument you'll ever own.
 
 Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
 
 Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
 
 Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
 
 Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone
 for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to
 your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the
 future.
 
 Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few
 you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
 and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need
 the people who knew you when you were young.
 
 Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
 Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
 soft. Travel.
 
 
 Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians
 will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll
 fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable,
 politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
 
 Respect your elders.
 
 Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust
 fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when
 either one might run out.
 
 Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it
 will look 85.
 
 Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who
 supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way
 of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting
 over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
 
 But trust me on the sunscreen.
 
 
 ***************
 Wil's note:
 Turns out the this email is actually a hoax, not written by Vonnegut
 at all.  I discovered this the day after reading it when there
 appeared an article about it in the SF Chronicle (8/8/97).  I decided
 to put it on this page anyway (with this note) since I thought it was
 pretty entertaining no matter who wrote it.
 ***************

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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