Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".  I call mine Sex.
 Sex has been embarrassing to me.  When I went to City Hall to renew his 
 license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex; he said 
 he would like one too.  Then I said, "But this is a dog."  He said he 
 didn't care what she looked like.  Then I said, "You don't understand.  I 
 have had Sex since I was 9 years old."  He said I must have been quite a 
 kid.  
 	When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with 
 me.  I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a 
 special room for Sex.  He said that every room in the place was for sex.  
 I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."  The clerk 
 said, "Me too."  
 	One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began,
 the dog ran away and a contestant asked me why I was standing there looking
 around.  I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.  He told me that
 I should have sold my own tickets.  "But you don't understand,"  I said, 
 "I hoped to have Sex on TV."  He called me a show-off.  
 	When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody
 of the dog.  I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."  The 
 judge said, "Me too."  Then I told him that after I was separated, Sex 
 left me.  He said "Me too."  
 	Last night, Sex ran off again.  I spent hours looking around town for 
 him.  A cop came over to me and asked me, "What are you doing in this alley at
 4:00 in the morning."  I said, "I am looking for Sex."  My case comes up 
 on Friday.

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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