RE:	Stupid crooks
 
 The two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen and Stupidity. 
 When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a 
 Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police
 arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near 
 spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
 trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage
 tank by mistake.  The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, 
 saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
 
 A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was 
 a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone
 and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper 
 and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was 
 arrested.
 
 45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a
 mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed 
 in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the
 mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she 
 didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the 
 oil.
 
 David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after 
 allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags 
 of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds 
 each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police 
 officers easily jumped him from behind.
 
 The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man 
 suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it 
 because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time.  Police then 
 arrested him for breaking into the school.
 
 Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in 
 Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor 
 said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in
 Christopher's jacket could  have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who 
 happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so 
 the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the 
 pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose 
 himself.
 
 Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso 
 from from Mexico.  They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of 
 its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were 
 clever, but not bright.  They misspelled the name of the gas company 
 on the side of the truck.
 
 Oklahoma City - Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a 
 convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his
 lawyer.  Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a 
 fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton 
 was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then 
 said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off."  The defendant paused, 
 then quickly added, "-if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 
 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence. 
 
 R.C.  Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
 their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit
 neighborhood.  When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked
 him for a piece of identification.  Gaitlin gave them his driver's
 license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
 arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin
 was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St.  Louis, Missouri
 

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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