Here's your randomly selected funny email. Click here for a
complete list.
Hit me again!
The Accident
--I think this one needs an intro, so you won't be lost at the
beginning. This man was in an accident (work accident, not car
accident), so he fills out an insurance claim; the insurance contacts
him and asks for more information. This is his response.--
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I
put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your
letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following
detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the
day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my
new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered
that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up
about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry
the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to
lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which
fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and
loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to
the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow
decent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number
11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh only 155 pounds.
Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless
to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the
tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming
down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the
pulley.
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of
mind and was able to hold onto the rope in-spite-of my pain. At
approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight
of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I
refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might
imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the
vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs
and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough
to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and
fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand
and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me... I again lost my
presence of mind. I let go of the rope.
Hit me again!
Wil Stark,
wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
Back to home page...