Why it takes a license to drive
 
 The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given
 by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read
 Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
 
 Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
 A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
 
 Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at
 the same time?
 A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying,
 "Guns don't kill people. I do."
 
 Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
 A: Always wear a condom.
 
 Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
 A: Your car.
 
 Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
 A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.
 
 Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
 A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
 
 Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer
 drive lawfully?
 A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
 
 Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
 A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
 
 Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a
 flashing yellow traffic light?
 A: The color.
 
 Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
 A: Heavy psychedelics.
 
 Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
 A: Carry loaded weapons.
 
 Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
 A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.
 

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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