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The following "informational packet" was distributed to students at Christ
the King grade and middle school in Lombard, Illinois last week.
<- Wil's note: sometime around 1994 ->
STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have
been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it
must be so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide
that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem
will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good
for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you
truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength
to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come
to you.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific
guidelines:
A Guide to Self-Control:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal
toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in
this good company.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem,
YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people
having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit
together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind.
Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind.
The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really
exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in
the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long
enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a
room where you will have some member of your family present.
5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most
part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily
touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time
consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to
remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your
thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF
BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the
middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your
fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you
GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so
to speak.
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem.
Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The
thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to
remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of
the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books
-- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern
too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture,
preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book
of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above
anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting
qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that
will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray
for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the
General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT
OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS,
NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a person
toward his problem has an affect [sic] on how easy it is to overcome. It
is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a
person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the
conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he
develops the power to control it. We are taught that our bodies are
temples of God, and are to be clean so that the Holy Ghost may dwell
within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs one of the Spirit and
creates guilt and emotional stress. It is not physically harmful unless
practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is totally self-centered, and
secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of the procreative power
given to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person
from God and defeats the gospel plan.
This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect
testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings
become burdensome, offerings.
Suggestions:
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will
strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and not loud when the
temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce
emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution
of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress
increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to those
thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen
Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your
thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year
and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to
_never again_ you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a
changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in
control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan
to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with
your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and
talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn
to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing
friendships found in books such as _How to Win Friends and Influence
People_ by Dale Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel
lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can
trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to
counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a
book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with
you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color
the day black. Your goal will be to have _no black days_. The calendar
becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at
when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up
until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain
times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your
particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it
happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique
called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think of something very
distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable,
the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which
was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your
loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if
you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms,
and eat several of them as you do the act.
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door
or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy.
Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no
matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day
with an enthusiastic activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of
fluids before retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as
lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might
create sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in
overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in
bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed
frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep
condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several
layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a
big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a
goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing
reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns
which were part of your problem. _Satan Never Gives Up_. Be calmly and
confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this
fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your
whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
Hit me again!
Wil Stark,
wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
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