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Title: Medical Terminology for Non-Doctors
Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coathook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favoring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited
And, for completeness, another version.
This one's from the Joke of the Day.
Subject: Doctor Speak
Artery - The Study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to the cafeteria
Barium - What you do when CPR fails
Benign - What you be after you be eight
Bowel - A letter like A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y
Caesarean Section - A neighborhood near Rome
Cat Scan - Searching for Kitty
Cat Scan - What dogs do when they enter your yard
Cauterize - Made eye contact with the nurse
Colic - A Sheep Dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
Congenital - Friendly
D&C - Where Washington is located
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
GI Series - Baseball between teams of soldiers
Grippe - A Suitcase
Hangnail - A coat hook
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer
Nitrate - Cheaper than the day rate
Node - Was aware of
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pelvis - Cousin to Elvis
Post-operative - A letter carrier
Protein - In favor of young people
Recovery Room - Where you have your upholstery done
Rectum - Darn near killed him
Rheumatic Fever - Amorous feeling
Secretion - Hiding anything
Seizure - A Roman emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Sick at the airport
Tibia - North African country
Tumor - An extra pair
Urine - Opposite of you're out
Varicose Veins - Veins which are very close together
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..at least the doctors find me fascinating...
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Wil Stark,
wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
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