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God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire
 
 God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to
 better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer 
 the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be 
 kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or 
 address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.
 
 1.  How did you find out about God?  
 	__ Newspaper  
 	__ Television  
 	__ Divine Inspiration  
 	__ Word of mouth  
 	__ Near Death Experience  
 	__ Bible  
 	__ Torah 
 	__ Other (specify): _____________
 
 2.  Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition 
 to God?  Please check all that apply.  
 	__ Tarot  
 	__ Lottery  
 	__ Horoscope  
 	__ Television  
 	__ Fortune cookies  
 	__ Ann Landers  
 	__ Self-help books   
 	__ Sex 
 	__ Biorhythms  
 	__ Alcohol or drugs  
 	__ Mantras  
 	__ Insurance policies
 	__ Other (specify): ______________________   
 	__ None
 
 3.  God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve  
 the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith.  Which would you 
 prefer (circle one)?  
 
 	More Divine Intervention   
 	Less Divine Intervention   
 	Current level of Divine Intervention is just right 
 	Don't know
 
 4.  God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and 
 miracles.  Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 His handling of the following  
 (1 = unsatisfactory, 5 = excellent):
 
 Disasters (flood, famine, earthquake, war)  
 	1   2   3   4   5
 Miracles (rescues, spontaneous remission of disease,sports upsets)  
 	1   2   3   4   5
 
 Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the 
 quality of God's services?
 
 (Attach an additional sheet if necessary):
 _____________________________________________________________
 _____________________________________________________________
 
 
 From: Michelle

Hit me again!
Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
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