A day in the life of a grad-student...
 
   6:30  Wakeup and lie awake in Bed
   6:31	Realize you spent $18 on last night's dinner, 
         means no eating out for the next 6  weeks
   6:32	Hit snooze button.  Go back to sleep.
   7:00	Wake up suddenly with heart in mouth when you 
         realize you didn't hit the snooze   button--you turned it off.
   7:01	fall asleep again.
   7:44	Wake up with heart in mouth again.
   7:45	Ready to go to school, will shave tommorrow, 
         will eat early brunch at
         (Denny's/Penny's/Lenny's/Dinko's whatever
         cafeteria).
   8:03  Arrive at school
         Realize your foreign officemate arrived earlier
         today must have got more work   done
   8:04 	Pass by Advisor's office, chat with Secretary to 
         find out if he is coming in today. He   is, darn.
         Need to start work on the draft due this afternoon.
   8:15  Read electronic mail
   8:20  Delete mail from students taking CMPSC201
         regarding questions about the class.
         Hate your TA job.
         Depression: too much work to do today
   9:00  For jumpstart: go to Pepsi machine.
   9:05  Kick Pepsi machine; promise yourself to call up
         the company  and ask for your   money back.
         Wonder why they would beleive you.
   9:33  Start printing out loads of stuff that may be
         vaguely related to your work.
   9:41  Early morning stupefaction.
         Mutter racist comments to yourself about your
         officemate.
   9:43  Curse your officemate in a low tone he would not
         comprehend.
         Feel good about him not grasping English well.
   9:58  Finger everyone in the department and most
         people half way around the world    (using the "finger"
         command, of course)
   10:19 Feel sleepy, should not have stayed late playing
         tetris last night.
   10:31 momentary panic attack!!!!!!!!!!!!
   10:43 edit .plan file. write a shell program to edit .plan
         more easily
   10:59 Drop in at advisor's office and borrow something
         you dont need & and kinda make  him aware you are working
         hard on your project.
   11:05 perverted daydreams
   11:11 read electronic news
         mid-morning yawn time
   11:34 Start typing junk at a very high key-in rate to
         pretend you are working hard as your    advisor passes by
         from outside.
   11:35 Press the BackSpace key for one and a half
         minute until all the garbage you typed  in is erased.
         Realize that you can type more than 256
         characters per half minute
   11:41 Flirt with the new girl in the department
   11:45 Print out some slides for afternoon's draft +
         presentation
   11:47 Print them again, you forgot to change the date
         from last presentation
   11:49 Print another copy in case this one gets lost
   11:51 Completely forget about sueing the coffee-
         machine company
   12:15 Hunger pangs:
   12:20 BigMac/Fries time
         Drink a not-so-cold generic can of cola from your
         desk. Ch-Ching, you just saved 35 cents by buying bulk
         cola.
   1:00  Group Meeting with advisor
   1:14  sudden awareness of one's shallowness
         resentment towards foriegn officemate for
         sucking up to your advisor
         Get reminded by your advisor that you need to do
         some more work for your literature survey.
   1:51  Advisor hands you the reddened copy of your
         draft for corrections
   1:51:02   The 49 second urge to murder advisor begins!!
   1:51:52   Realize that he controls your
             assistantship/grade/graduation
             possiblity/graduation date/all job
             opportunities/and the rest of your life.
   1:52:53   Thank him
   1:52:54   Thank yourself for not saying something
             stupid to your advisor.
   1:53:00   splitting headache #1
   1:59  	Check electronic mail, don't reply though, you are 
             	too busy to do that
   2:06  	More generic cola
   2:17  	Oh No, it is my turn to cook tonite :-( 
   2:30  	Sit through the class you were told to sit through
   2:39  	Look outside the window make unrealistic plans 
                 to quit this degree program and take up a job.
         	Wonder why blonde girls are so pretty.
   2:48  	More perverted day-dreams.
         	Close the office door and open a few .gif files.
         	sharpen pencil
   3:06  	worry about never graduating 
         	time to write a letter--NOT!  no time for that.
         	rearrange desk
         	call up bank; see if you have any money 
         	fear of losing aid next Fall 
         	Read latex manuals to figure out how to put 
             	&$%&% in %$^% format
   3:43  	watch the clock
         	make plans to do a all-nighter tonite
         	Vow to watch only 2 TV programs 
   4:58  	Notice Advisor leave       
   4:58:01   	Sudden sense of freedom
             	Go home for quick, short dinner break.
   9:00pm 	Come into the office
   9:01pm 	The hard working grad student you are, you have 
             	to come to the office late at night to "get the work done"
   9:03  	Check electronic mail
         	Decide it would be a good time to attack those ftp 
             	sites since network wont be loaded
         	Run into "since network wont be loaded" traffic 
             	and get the pictures into your  machine.
         	Compress all unwanted research/class directories 
             	to make space.
         	Back up all your pictures
   10:11 	Admire pictures
         	Begin work; Realize you need references
         	Realize its too late today to go to the library 
         	Sudden feeling of having wasted the day 
   10:49 	Sudden feeling of possibly having to waste the 
             	night Decide to turn in early and come back very early
             	tommorrow morning
         	Decide to play a Tetris on the system to put 
             	yourself in a good mood.
   11:15 	Play game after game after game to improve your 
             	score and get on the scoreboard.
         	Realize that your officemate is still at number 6, 
             	two notches above you on the    scoreboard.
   12:20 	Play until you beat your officemate into the 7th 
             	place. A sense of achievment!! Yes, today was not
             	wasted!! Return home to find your roommate watching
             	David Letterman reruns on NBC. Tell him about the "hard
             	working grad student day you had"
         	Discuss philosophy with roommate
   1:09  	Think about becoming a philosopher and dining 
             	with 4 others
         	(The Dining Philosophers problem, hee hee :-)  
             	(Comp Sci joke)
         	Argue with him about politics, why people prefer 
             	Japanese cars and whether it is better to set the heat to "hot"
             	or "cold" to defrost the windshields faster.
   1:49  	Realize neither of you have bought milk today 
         	Get reminded of the "too much milk problem"
   2:04  	Forget about getting up early. Turn the phone 
             	ringer off and go to sleep.

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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