"What Your Car Says About You"
 
 Acura Integra          - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
 Acura Legend           - I'm too bland for German cars
 Acura NSX              - I am not impotent ...
 Acura Vigor            - I wanted a Legend but couldn't afford one
 Audi 90                - I enjoy putting out engine fires
 BMW 318i               - I love my father, whose girlfriend is my age
 Buick Park Avenue      - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
 Buick Skylark          - I really liked the original Batmobile
 Cadillac Cimarron      - I love the Chevy Cavalier, and I'm rich
 Cadillac DeVille       - I am about to die
 Cadillac Eldorado      - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
 Cadillac Seville       - I am a pimp
 Chevrolet Camaro       - I enjoy beating up people
 Chevrolet Chevette     - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
 Chevrolet Corvette     - I'm in a mid-life crisis
 Chevrolet El Camino    - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
 Chrysler Cordova       - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
 Datsun 280Z            - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
 Dodge Dart             - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
 Dodge Daytona          - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
 Ford Fairmont          - (See Dodge Dart)
 Ford Mustang           - I slow down to 85 in school zones
 Ford Crown Victoria    - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change
 lanes when I pull up behind them
 Ford Probe             - I can't afford a real sports car
 Ford Windstar          - I have four children, and they all play soccer
 Geo Storm              - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
 Geo Tracker            - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
 Honda del Sol          - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
 Honda Civic            - I have just graduated and have no credit
 Honda Accord           - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
 Hyundai Excel          - I hate my life
 Infiniti G20           - I'm pretending to be rich
 Infiniti Q45           - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
 Isuzu Impulse          - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
 Jaguar XJ6             - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
 Kia Sephia             - I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
 Lincoln Town Car       - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
 Mercury Grand Marquis  - (See above)
 Mercedes 500SL         - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
 Mercedes 560SEL        - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
 Mazda Miata            - I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler
 MGB                    - I am dating a mechanic
 Mitsubishi Diamante    - I don't know what it means either
 Mitsubishi 3000GT      - I'm a RICH pasty white guy who wears wrap around
 sunglasses and listens to Hootie and the Blowfish.
 Nissan 300ZX           - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
 Oldsmobile Cutlass     - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a....
 Peugeot 505 Diesel     - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
 Plymouth Neon          - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
 Pontiac Grand Am       - I'm a pasty white guy who wears wrap around sun-
 glasses and listens to Hootie and the Blowfish.
 Pontiac Trans AM       - I have a switchblade in my sock
 Porsche 944            - I am dating big breasted women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal
 Saturn SC2             - (See Honda Civic)
 Subaru Legacy          - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more than common sense
 Toyota Camry           - I am still in the closet
 Volkswagon Beetle      - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
 Volkswagon Cabriolet   - I am out of the closet
 Volkswagon Microbus    - I am a serial killer
 Volvo 240 Sedan        - I voted for Clinton, and am a member of the Sierra Club
 Volvo 740 Wagon        - I am frightened of my wife
 Volvo 740 Turbo Wagon  - I am somewhat frightened of my wife
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 From: Michelle

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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