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RE: Stupid crooks
The two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen and Stupidity.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was
a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone
and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper
and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was
45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a
mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed
in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the
mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she
didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after
allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags
of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds
each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police
officers easily jumped him from behind.
The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man
suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it
because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police then
arrested him for breaking into the school.
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in
Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor
said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in
Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who
happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so
the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the
pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso
from from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of
its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were
clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas company
on the side of the truck.
Oklahoma City - Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a
convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his
lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a
fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton
was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then
said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off." The defendant paused,
then quickly added, "-if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20
minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence.
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit
neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked
him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's
license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin
was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri
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wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
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