Title: What if Microsoft was in Alabama?
 
  The ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in
  Alabama:
 
  1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
 
  2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
 
  3. Occasionally you'd bring up a winder that was covered with a Hefty bag
 
  4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right" or "Naw"
 
  5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
 
  6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
 
  7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk
  redneck yelling "Freebird!"
 
  8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song wouid be
  Achy-Breaky Heart
 
  9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
 
  10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++"
 
  11. Winders '95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
 
  12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
 
  13. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
 
  14. Instead of VIP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
 
  15. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
 
  16. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
 
  17. Four words: Daisy Duke's Screen Saver
 
  18. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
 
  19. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in
  your front yard
 
  20. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
 
  22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
 
 
 
 To most people solutions mean finding the
 answers.  But to chemists solutions are things
 that are still all mixed up.
 
 From: Ray

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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