Title: A New Atomic Element: Woman
 
 Subject: Hazardous Material Alert
 
 Element:  Woman
 Symbol:    WO
 Discovered by:    Adam
 Mass:        53.6 kilograms (but may vary between 40 and 200 kilograms) 
 Occurrence:  Ubiquitous
 
 Physical properties:
 	1.  Found in states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
 	2.  Surface area commonly covered with a film of coal tar derivatives
 	3.  Freezes unpredictably at any temperature
 	4.  Melts if given special treatment
 	5.  Bitter if mishandled
 	6.  Yields to pressure artfully applied
 
 Chemical properties:
 	1.  Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man
 	2.  Great affinity for gold, silver and the full range of precious stones
 	3.  May explode spontaneously without warning and for no apparent reason
 	4.  Insoluble in water, however alcohol greatly increases malleability
 	
 Common uses:
 	1.  Highly ornamental
 	2.  Remarkably effective aid to relaxation
 	3.  Very powerful cleaning agent
 
 Tests:
 	1.  Pure specimen turns pink when found in natural state
 	2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
 
 Potential hazards:
 	1.   Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
 	2.  Illegal to possess more than one (however several can be maintained at
        different locations so long as each specimen is kept from direct contact
        with all the others)
 
 From: Ray

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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