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July 24,
2000
Click here EVERY week to discover the most
useful and informative websites and tips we can find to help you get things
done faster and smarter.
Although our weekly tips are generally very
informative, once in a while it's fun to throw in a little humor. We all need
to laugh a little more, so here are some actual "tips" found on various
name-brand products. Enjoy. We'll be back next week with the really good stuff!
1. On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Gee,
that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
2. On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
(Evidently, the shoplifter special)
3. On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how. . . ?)
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion. Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion)
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Oops, too
late!)
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be
hot after heating".
(As night follows the day . . . .)
7. On
packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But
wouldn't this save even more time?)
8. On Boot's Children's Cough
Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just keep those 5-year-olds with head colds off those
forklifts.)
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness".
(One would hope)
10. On most brands of Christmas
lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to what?)
11. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other
use".
(I gotta admit, I'm curious).
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts".
(NEWS FLASH)
13. On an American
Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3:
Fly Delta).
14. On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly".
(I don't blame the company. I blame
parents for this one).
15. On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt
to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a chance of this
happening somewhere?...Good grief)
16. On a bottle of Palmolive
Dishwashing liquid:
"Do not use on food."
(Hey mom we're out of syrup!
- It's OK honey just grab the Palmolive!)
17. On a tube of Crest
Toothpaste:
"If swallowed, contact poison control."
(Oh please, have
you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?)
18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent:
"Remove clothing before
distributing in washing machine."
(Hey no more swimming in the washing
machine kids. Geez, mom, you mean we have to use the pool?)
[TIPS ARCHIVE]
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