An unwise decision and a horribly unlucky break caused an incident so horrible that it almost broke two families, and caused someone that I loved to be taken away from me. They say that time heals everything: well, I believe that this is one thing that will not be totally healed, no matter how much time passes.

5 Hours Ago	When something earth-shattering happens to me, I'll frequently find myself looking back wistfully at how calm things were, such a short time ago.
Absence	This was written the night of the incident, as I stared at the computer screen, glowing in the dark. I could barely see, because I had been crying for 8 hours, and my eyes had become permanently blurry, even when no tears were in my eyes.
Punishment	My parents still felt a need to punish me, despite everything I had been through already. This poem was what was going on inside my head as they did.
Submerged	One of the few things I have always taken pride in is the fact that I have a good family. Despite that fact, this event put me further away from my father than I had ever been before.
Permeation	For four days straight, I woke up crying. Never in my life have I come to tears before I even gained consciousness.
Atrophy	I finally realized how much this whole incident was affecting me in ways that I hadn't noticed before. I was becoming unhealthy, and I didn't care.
Roused, Returned	This day, I didn't wake up crying, but the instant I realized what had happened, I broke down again. The shock that something like this had actually happened to me struck again.
Every Time	Around this time nothing really seemed worth doing, and whenever I started work on something, I would give up or concede. My tolerance level just seemed to fall.
Fruitless	In this poem, I was reflecting on something Sara and I had talked about a long time ago. I never liked being single. Getting into a good, long relationship was a wonderful goal for me, because it kept me from having to be single.
Deja Vu	I tried to gather myself up and move forward. In this time, I attempted to rebound, but it occurs to me that maybe I looked for it in the wrong place. I seem to have a knack for doing that.
In-Betweens	This poem was written on the 4th of July, after I came back from seeing fireworks with friends. I was still working on the rebound, when a reminder of all of the pain that had occurred was prominently displayed in my face, and all of my resolve for the rebound fell to pieces.
Burden	When something horrible happens to you, there is usually the consolation that things will get better with time. I was horrified when I realized how bleak certain parts of my life were going to be after this, and once I realized that, I had one of the worst break downs since the incident occurred.
The Patient	For some reason, around this time, things actually started getting worse, rather than getting better. I had thought that things were improving, as had everyone else, but instead, I started getting more depressed. I was trying to think of how to describe my condition, and ending up writing this poem.
This Side	Things weren't getting better, and I began to consider things I hadn't before. In an effort to keep things from getting too out of hand, I went to see a friend, and in talking to her, I found something sickeningly ironic.
Enduring	Once again, when things seemed to die down, something kicked up the ashes again. I felt slightly angry that someone felt that it needed to be brought back up again, when everyone was trying to get over it. I understood why it needed to be done, but I still didn't like it.
PostMeditation	After a brief glimpse into how Sara was reacting from this situation, I compared our responses.
Birthday	I had bought a birthday gift for Sara months beforehand, but when her her birthday came around, I was not allowed to attend. While wrapping her present that I hoped I would be able to at least send in the mail, this poem entered my head.
Don't Ever	In any such situation, there needs to be some sort of closure. There needs to be some sort of final word, in order for any healing to occur.