Poetry Section: Phase 4

This phase is full of shock, resignation, and depression.

I am not generally a gloomy person. I'm not constantly depressed: on the contrary, most of the time I'm fairly cheerful. I do, however, enjoy feeling intense emotions, and because of this, in the infrequent event that I do get depressed, I actually enjoy it. That aside, this was the deepest depression I've ever been in, and I ceased to enjoy it fairly quickly.

Pick an awkward and painful situation from a movie or TV show: one that there was no easy way out of, no simple answer to. Then picture that happening to you. It's almost impossible to comprehend just how much it sucks until it happens to you.

Asphyxiation	This is what happens when the feelings that inspire poems like Drawn get intensified. Same girl, new heights of emotion. It's not depressing or happy, just really stressed. I wrote this after I got back from spending a little while at her house. This is the precursor to the rest of the Phase.
Finality	The immediate followup to Asphyxiation. When you lift yourself up high on something as unstable as hope, the fall is excrutiating. I can honestly say that the feelings expressed in this poem are the longest lasting feelings of depression I've ever experienced.
Distortion	In the midst of my depression, late at night, this poem occurred. I was standing there, staring into the mirror, and I flat out lost it. I had never had anything like this happen to me, and I was horrified.
Reassurance	A small pinpoint of warmth amidst the sea of depression I was stuck in. It was good to know that at least there was one thing that I could count on in this.
Graft	Just when I thought that the feelings in Finality were as low as it could get, things actually got worse. Before it happened, I wouldn't have even guessed that it was possible.
Cold	A brief poem that I wrote late at night, trying to mull over my feelings in this whole matter and failing.
Would You	What I had hoped to be the closing poem for this entire matter. It didn't turn out to be, but at the time seemed like it might be. Throughout the entire matter, I never allowed myself to explode at anybody, which left me slightly bitter.
Deconstruction	I was sitting next to her in Physics, and I could see that she was depressed. I wrote a short poem on a piece of paper and slid it over to her. She read it silently, then turned the paper over and wrote a poem in reply. We continued doing this for the rest of the period, and then exchanged a poem a day for a day or two afterwards, too. This is the longest piece of poetry to go up here, because it's also a conversation between the two of us.
Shadow	I was sitting off to the side, watching as they passed by, and this poem sort of unfolded in my head as I stared at them, their expressions and their actions. They never even noticed me.